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Family compelling daughter to shake hands with her in-law

Question

I have a religious friend who is adherent to her due Hijaab. Her family pushes her to shake hands with one of her in-laws, who is also her cousin. What is even stranger is that they accuse her of being extreme. Are there any verses or Prophetic narrations that affirm and reinforce her stance against her family?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

The questioner did not clarify the exact degree of kinship; since an in-law could refer to the father-in-law or the husband of her sister and other relations. Therefore, if that man is not one of her Mahram (non-marriageable) men i.e., those of a prohibited degree of kinship, either through blood or nursing relationships, it is impermissible for her to shake hands with him, stay in seclusion with him, or meet him without her due Hijab (Islamic covering).

We advise this sister to remain steadfast and committed to the right path of obedience, and not to yield under these pressures. She should bear in mind what was reported on the authority of ‘Aa’ishah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  her that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: "Whoever seeks the pleasure of Allaah The Exalted at the expense of people's displeasure, will win the pleasure of Allaah The Exalted and He will render people to be pleased with him. And whoever seeks to please people at the expense of the displeasure of Allaah The Exalted, will attain the displeasure of Allaah The Almighty Who will render people to be displeased with him." [Ibn Hibbaan]

Allaah The Exalted Says (what means):

{And be patient, for indeed, Allaah does not allow to be lost the reward of those who do good.} [Quran 11:115]

{So be patient; indeed, the [best] outcome is for the righteous.} [Quran11:49]

{So be patient. Indeed, the promise of Allaah is truth. And let them not disquiet you who are not certain [in faith]} [Quran 30:60]

The guardians of this girl should be obedient to Allaah The Almighty. They should be pleased with the righteousness of their daughter and support her, rather than force her to shake hands with non-Mahram men.

We advise her to spare no effort in trying to guide her family to the right path through wisdom and kind words, and never to give up; for the right is ever strong while the wrong is ever weak.

Allaah Knows best.

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