Kissing and Hugging between the Spouses
Fatwa No: 439732

Question

Assalamualaikum ? Is kissing and hugging the spouse allowed in islam many times daily. Did our prophet kissed his wifes daily? Is it true that only loving couples will kissed and hugged each other many times daily. does woman also will need sex many times or man only? will wife approached forhusband for sex or husband only approached wife ? How to know whether wife loves the husband wholeheartedly?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

The husband kissing his wife or wife kissing her husband is a kind of good marital relations, which is Islamically ordained, as Allah Says (what means): {And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable.} [Quran 2:228]

This is no specific limit for that in a day, but the spouses should not resort to it abundantly to the extent of being preoccupied by it from what is more important of the interests of this worldly life and the Hereafter.

Kissing can be done more than once between the spouses who love each other and the spouses who do not love each other, and this incites affection between them and strengthens the bond of marital relations between them. So, the spouses who do not love each other, need it to achieve these meanings. There are many other ways of courtship and friendliness other than kissing.

With regard to the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) and him kissing his wives, then Abu Daawood narrated from ‘Urwa from ‘Aa’ishah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  her that she said about the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ): “It was very rare that he would not visit us all, and come near each one of his wives but without having intercourse with her.

The narration reported by Ad-Daaraqutni in his Sunan reads: “He draws closer to each one of his wives in his council, and he kisses and touches but without having sexual intercourse with them.

The desire for sexual intercourse and the intensity of this desire can be from the man or the woman and it varies from person to person. In general, it is the husband who asks that from his wife. As for the wife, she may be shy to ask that from her husband, so the husband should take into account her need and not leave it in a way that harms the wife.

There are many signs of the wife’s love for her husband, including her interest in him, her trust in him, her loyalty and faithfulness to him, her standing by him, her support to him, and her accepting excuses from him.

On the other hand, the husband should do what earns the love of his wife, such as fulfilling her rights, being affectionate with her, dealings with her in a good and nice manner, being kind to her family, and enabling her to keep ties with them and so forth.

In conclusion, we draw your attention to the fact that it is not necessary for the continuation of marriage that the two spouses love each other, as ‘Umar  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him said: “Homes are not only built on love.”

Allah knows best.

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