He Accidentally Discovered that His Son Has a Gay Dating Apps on His Phone
Fatwa No: 441016

Question

Hello. I recently found out that my 20-year-old son is probably homosexual. I accidentally discovered that he has gay dating apps on his phone. He acts feminine sometimes as well. However, I’m quite afraid to confront him about this. Since he is my son and I want him to be happy.Is homosexuality acceptable in Islam and why? What should I do?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

This homosexuality (which is an act that was practiced by the people of Lot), which you mentioned about your son, is a very dangerous and despicable matter; Allah blamed the people who practiced it and even destroyed them. Allah Says (what means): {And We made the highest part [of the city] its lowest and rained upon them stones of hard clay.} [Quran 15:74]

Allah has set for it a Hadd ((i.e. the corporal punishment determined by the Islamic Law) in this worldly life.

Ibn ‘Abbaas  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Whoever you find doing the act of the people of Lot, then kill the doer and the one to whom it is done.” [Ahmed and Ibn Maajah]

Therefore, it is a prohibited act and one of the major sins.

One of the greatest reasons for its prohibition is that it contradicts the Fitrah (natural disposition upon which Allah created mankind). Allah has made marriage as the way of achieving one’s desire between a male and a female.

It is for this reason that Lot, may Allah exalt his mention, said to his people as Allah Says on his tongue (what means): {“Do you approach males among the worlds. And leave what your Lord has created for you as mates? But you are a people transgressing."} [Quran 26:165-166] This marriage is the way to reproduction and the succession of generations.

However, I you meant that he is only attracted to males, then this is less a heinous crime than the first, but it is also a dangerous matter. The fact that your son just knows this pathway and tries to communicate with its people is a dangerous matter that could make him truly one of them. Therefore, the matter needs some kind of confronting him with this matter in a resolute manner but in compassionate and wise manner, as well as working to fill his spare time with what is beneficial of the matters of this worldly life and the Hereafter, as well as linking him with a good environment in which he can be connected with a righteous company that prevents him from being related to a corrupt company or a bad environment.

One of the most important things that helps in reforming him and turning him into a righteous person is to make him marry a righteous woman who will help him in his religion and worldly affairs.

All goodness lies in you supplicating Allah for him with guidance and righteousness as the parents’ supplication is answered.

Abu Hurayrah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “There are three supplications that will undoubtedly be answered (by Allah): The supplication of a victim of injustice, the supplication of a traveler, and the supplication of a parent for his children.” [Ibn Maajah]

For more benefit about the prohibition of homosexuality, please refer to Fataawa 82048, 89290, 92704 and 81617.

[Note: if you cannot confront him, then you may arrange with some righteous brothers to talk to him, or arrange with the Imam to speak on this subject on a Friday Khutbah and make sure your son attends it with you]

Allah knows best.

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