A would-be husband asks about supplications to say when getting married and before having sex with his wife
Fatwa No: 81669

  • Fatwa Date:20-8-1999 - Jumaadaa Al-Oula 9, 1420
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Question

I am going to get married. What do I have to tell my wife before sleeping with her? What is an Islamic wedding like?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, we ask Allah to complete his blessing on you, make your wife a blessing for you and grant you both good and pious offspring. When a person wishes to have sexual intercourse with his wife, he should say “Bismi Allaah, Allaahumma jannibna Ash-shaytaan wajannib Ash-shaytaan ma razaqtana (By the name of Allah, O’ Allah, protect us from the devil and keep the devil away from what you bestowed upon us”. Ibn Abbaas  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet Muhammad the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “When a person has sex with his wife and supplicates: “Bismi Allah (By the name of Allah), O’ Allah, protect us from the devil and keep the devil away from what you bestowed upon us”, and Allah decrees a child for them, then the devil will never harm him [the child]" [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Besides, when he first consummates the marriage with his wife, he should place his hand over her head and should supplicate “Allaahumma innee as-aluka khayraha wakhayra ma jabaltaha ‘Alayh, wa-a’oothu bika min sharriha washarri ma jabaltaha ‘Alayh.” (O Allah, I ask You for the goodness within her and the goodness that you have made her inclined towards, and I take refuge with You from the evil within her and the evil that you have made her inclined towards.)
Moreover, you should know, dear brother, that marriage is a great sign of Allah; Allah Says (what means): {And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.} [Quran 30:21]

In addition to this, you should know that your wife has some rights over you in the same manner that you have some rights over her, so you should fulfill her rights before you ask your rights from her; Allah Says (what means): {And due to them [i.e. the wives] is similar to what is expected to them, according to what is reasonable. But the men [i.e. husbands] have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority].} [Quran 2:228]

Also, you should live with her in kindness and treat her as you like her to treat you. Allah Says (what means): {And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them — perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.} [Quran 4:19]

Furthermore, the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “A believing man should not hate a believing woman (i.e. his wife), if he hates one of her characters, he will be pleased with another.” [Muslim]

Finally, we seek Allah to perpetuate your happiness and bless your marriage.

Allah knows best.

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