Divorced Woman with Boyfriend Who Wants to Move on with Her
Fatwa No: 82125

  • Fatwa Date:3-8-2000 - Jumaadaa Al-Oula 3, 1421
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Question

I'm a divorced woman who converted recently. My boyfriend is from Algeria and actually wants to move on with me, but his parents do not accept me. What does the Quran say about getting married with a divorced woman? Is there a chance to convince his parents that I'm not a bad person, nor a person of 2nd class? His parents judge without knowing me. Is this correct? What about respect for me?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, we are delighted to congratulate you upon embracing Islam, and bring you the good news that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) has given for every new Muslim.

‘Amr Ibn Al-‘Aas  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him said: “When Allah instilled the love of Islam in my heart, I came to the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) and said: “Stretch out your right hand so that I may pledge my allegiance to you. He stretched out his right hand. I withdrew my hand. He (the Prophet) said: What has happened to you, O ‘Amr? I replied: “I intend to lay down a condition.” The Prophet asked: “What condition do you intend to put forward?” I said: “I should be granted pardon.” He (the Prophet) observed: “Are you not aware of the fact that Islam wipes out all the previous (misdeeds)? Verily, migration wipes out all the previous (misdeeds), and verily, the pilgrimage wipes out all the (previous) misdeeds.” [Muslim]

The moment a person embraces Islam Allah forgives all his past misdeeds. He becomes a member of the Muslim community, and he has the same rights as any Muslim has. It is obligatory on every Muslim to honor him, support him, love him and help him against any oppression.

The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “A Muslim is the brother of another Muslim. He neither betrays him nor tells him a lie, nor humiliates him. Everything belonging to a Muslim, his honor, his property and his blood, is sacrosanct to another Muslim; and the piety is here (pointing towards his heart). It is fairly serious evil to consider a Muslim as mean.” [At-Tirmithi]

As for your second question we inform you that Islam permits marriage with a divorced woman. There is no difference between her and the one who initially did not marry. But one should not propose to the divorced woman during her waiting period. The wisdom behind legislating the waiting period for a divorced woman is to make sure that she is not pregnant. This is to protect the lineage and not to mix the sperm of a divorced husband with the sperm of a future husband.
The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) married Khadeejah who was divorced and Zaynab bint Jahsh who was divorced from Zayd ibn Haarithah.

The denial of parents to their son's wife and his family is not correct. This practice might cause separation and rupture of relations. The parents should welcome their son and his Muslim wife, support them to establish their new family and try their best to raise them among Muslims. It is obligatory on them to respect their son's wife. Muslims are asked to respect each other especially if they have any relation. Thus a daughter in-law is a member of the husband's parents family. The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) has clarified the rights of a Muslim on another Muslim.

He  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “A Muslim is the brother of another Muslim, he should neither wrong him, nor should he humiliate him or look down upon him.” [Muslim]

Islam does not permit any kind of partiality. The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Whoever offers prayers like us and faces our Qiblah and eats our slaughtered animals, is a Muslim and is under Allah's and his Messenger's Protection. So, do not betray Allah by betraying those who are in His Protection.

Therefore we want to say to our honorable sister that the fiancé is permitted only to see from the fiancée what could help him to determine whether or not she suits him for the sake of their future life.

As for mixing and being alone with each other, then this is not permitted in Islam in order to protect the women's honor, dignity and chastity. Because a fiancé is still a non-Mahram man to the woman as long as the marriage contract has not been established. The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day must not be in seclusion with a woman except if her Mahram is present with her. If he does so, Satan will be their third (companion).

The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) also said: “No woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day should travel a distance of a day and night journey unless her Mahram is present with her.

At the same time, we want to draw your attention to the fact that Islam is a generous and easy religion, so it does not punish one if he commits a sin by mistake, forgetfulness, or ignorance.

Allah Says (what means): {And there is no blame upon you for that in which you have erred but [only for] what your hearts intended. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful.} [Quran 33:5]

But if one commits what is forbidden after knowing it, then he should repent. Whoever sincerely repents to Allah, Allah will accept his repentance.

For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 81356.

Allah knows best.

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