Parents not blessing marriage of son to older woman
Fatwa No: 83142

  • Fatwa Date:8-8-2001 - Jumaadaa Al-Oula 19, 1422
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What does Islam say about parents not blessing a son's marriage just because the lady he is marrying is 3 years older than him? Bear in mind the son is 36 years old.


Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.

If this woman is pious follows the rules of Shariah and has good character then convince your parent for this marriage. Remind them of the saying of Prophet who said: "A man marries a woman for four reasons: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty as for her piety. Select the pious one; may you be blessed". [Reported Imams Bukhari and Muslim] Also tell them that marrying a woman you do not love is not good either for you or her. You may seek help from those relatives who can convince your parents to accept the bride you choose. Inform them that the Prophet had married Khadijah ( may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  her) who was ten years older than him. In addition, keep supplicating Allah to guide you to do only, that which is good for you. Try your best to have your parents agree to this marriage; if they do not change their mind then we advise you to obey them. They have much experience and always think for the benefit of their children. If you marry this woman without their consent, this might sever your relations with them, and then you may not fulfill their rights and consequently you may become rude towards them. The anger of the parents might result in the Anger of Allah as you know the right of parents upon their children is above all other rights. This right is so great that Allah linked their right to His. Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. …}[17:23]. He also Commands Muslims to be thankful to Him and immediately after it He Ordered them to show gratitude to his parents. Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {…give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.}[31:14]. Therefore, ignoring their rights is to destroy oneself.

Allah knows best.

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