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Over 40 and Thinking More about Women's Backsides

Question

I`m a man in my 40's, living outside the Muslim countries the last 24 years. My problems is , I keep thinking about womens backside so i cannot consentrate during the day even when I do my Salat,I have a strange feelings about this what can I do?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

A person who reaches forty years has to be busy with thinking of the grave, not of looking at women's backsides. He has to know that death is near, and the grave will be either a garden of paradise for him or a pit of Hellfire. After that, there will be resurrection and meeting Allah (The Great and Almighty), the Day of Reckoning and Judgment, and Hellfire will be on the left-hand side, right-hand side, and in front of everyone.

Dear Brother! You have to remember such a situation, since it is very near. You have to remember the punishment that Allah, The Exalted, prepares for those who commit Zina (fornication or adultery).

Allah Says (what means): {…And whoever should do that will meet a penalty. Multiplied for him is the punishment on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein humiliated - Except for those who repent, believe and do righteous work. For them Allah will replace their evil deeds with good. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful.} [Quran 25: 68-70]

Know that such punishment is for committing Zina, but having sex with a woman in her anus is worse, more indecent and a greater sin. A person who has sex with his wife in her anus will lose Allah's Mercy and be expelled as the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Cursed is the one who has sex with a woman (i.e. his wife) in her anus.” [Abu Daawood, At-Tirmithi and Ahmad]

A person who commits such a sin, Allah will not look at him on the Day of Judgment. The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Allah will not look at a man who has sex with his wife in her anus.” [Ibn Khuzaymah]

The above stated threat and punishment will come over one who commits such a bad act with his wife. But, the punishment will be harsher and worse on one who has such wicked action with a woman who in not his wife. We ask Allah, the exalted, to protect all of us from this.

Here, we advise you, dear Brother, to do your best to stop such evil acts before being driven to a worse situation. The devil spares no effort to lead people to such a situation.

Therefore, we advise and remind you of the following:

First, know that looking at what Allah has prohibited is a sin, and you have to repent to Him. Allah Says (what means): {Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), …} [Quran 24: 30]

For sure, continuous looking at what is prohibited has drawn you to the trouble you are now experiencing. So, you have to hasten in full and true repentance; i.e. to demonstrate regret, to give up such an action, and be determined not to do it again.

Second, hasten to marry if you can afford it, since it helps you lower your gaze and keep your chastity, and if you cannot, we advise you to observe fast, as fasting diminishes sexual power.

Third, keep away from places of sin and temptation as much as you can. Then, avoid staying in non-Muslim countries where misdeeds, vice, evil, etc. are widespread.

Allah knows best.

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