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Fatwa CenterFell in love innocently
Question
I got a divorce from a very vindictive husband in 1985. It has been over 17 years now. I was hurt so badly and I was so sad and of course I loved my ex-husband so much that I never liked anyone during this period. I went for Hajj in 2002 and one of our relatives who is married and helps Hajjis helped me couple of times when I was desperate in need of help. He has a very good reputation, helps many people and considers himself Khadem of guests of Allah. I had gone with my real brother. His attitude was so good to us and so extra ordinary that when I came back I realized that I had fallen in love with him. The feelings were so strong that I used to cry while saying my prayers. I did not know what to do. He is a thorough gentleman and I have a good reputation as a respectable lady of good character. He is my cousin, originally from India and has a wife and four kids. If such feelings are developed towards someone without your intentions and your peace of heart and mind lost, what does Islam say about it? What is a woman supposed to do in this condition? When a man falls in love he is allowed to express it and can ask for the hand of a female, but when a female faces such a terrible and painful condition what is she supposed to do? She cannot express herself; she cannot send a proposal. Is it a sin?
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the World; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
It is lawful for the woman to propose herself in marriage to a man. She can do so if she sees in that man piety, knowledge and good character. This is even a sign of her honorable state.
In fact, many good women proposed themselves in marriage to pious and good men.
In addition, you are not to blame for having sentimental feelings towards this man as Allah does not burden a person beyond what he can bear, and the sentiments are not something one can control.
Allah knows best.
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