Search In Fatwa

Wants to Marry Girl but Her Father May Object Due to His Age

Question

I am a 20-year-old student studying in the USA. I saw a sister that is pious and has good morals. She always comes to the Masjid. I want to get engaged to her, and get married after I graduate, but I fear that her father will refuse me because of my age. Please give me advice.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Firstly, we advice you to perform the Istikhaarah prayer (prayer for Divine guidance) to which the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) directed us.

For more benefit on how to perform Istikhaarah prayer and how to supplicate Allah, please refer to Fataawa 172573, 81434, and 82964.

If you feel comfortable to proceed for proposing marriage to her, supplicate to Allah much to open the mind of her father for acceptance. If he opposes your proposal due to your age, explain to him that there is nothing in the religion of Islam that prevents a man from marrying a woman who is older or younger than him if both of them are satisfied with one another. The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) married Khadeedjah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  her though she was much older than him. So, there is no reason for a man to refuse to marry his daughter to a man older or younger than her. The basis for selecting a wife or a husband is the saying of the Messenger of Allah  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ): “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, her family lineage, her beauty and her religion. So choose the religious one, you will prosper.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) also said: “If a man whose religion and moral conduct are pleasing to you proposes to you, then let him marry; otherwise there will be great mischief and corruption on earth.” [At-Tirmithi]

Allah knows best.

Related Fatwa