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Fatwa CenterEngaged people are alien to one another
Question
I'm a Muslim young woman aged 33. So far I've been introduced to several men - as future husbands- but, unfortunately, they are not religious. But a month ago, a friend of mine introduced me to a single man aged 36. At first he pretended to be religious that's why I liked him. But the problem is that he wants me to go out with him (I mean to cafes, etc.) - before telling our families. By the way he seems very conservative (For example: he did not allow his sister to go out with her fiancé). When I refused to bend to his wishes, he got angry and complained to my friend. He said that I am Utopic and too idealistic. Am I really? Does this man really fear Allah? I don't really think so. Everybody is blaming me. They think that I am demanding and too strict. I'm looking forward to your prompt reply in which you'd advise me on what to do.
Answer
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions. May Allah grant you the good reward; increase your desire to know the truth and make you steadfast on the right path. We ask Allah to grant you a good and pious husband. Know that as long as the person is not known by Fisq (committing major sins) you may agree to his proposal of marriage because the religiousness and high standards of morals are very important features of a Muslim man. However, it is forbidden to go out with him as long as the marriage contract is not completed. Know that the proper way of proposing to you or to any girl is to contact her guardians not the girl herself. Since the marriage contract has not been completed yet. So, you should treat him as any alien man. Talking to an alien man is not permitted except in the limits of necessity. Finally, we advise you to supplicate Allah, and ask His Guidance and Help; surely, He will respond to your supplications. Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {And your Lord said: "Invoke Me, [i.e. believe in My Oneness (Islâmic Monotheism)] (and ask Me for anything) I will respond to your (invocation). Verily! Those who scorn My worship [i.e. do not invoke Me, and do not believe in My Oneness, (Islâmic Monotheism)] they will surely enter Hell in humiliation!"}[40:60]. Allah knows best.
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