How to avoid anger
Fatwa No: 86681

Question

I am a person who gets angry quickly, and I cannot control myself when I argue with anyone, even my parents. Please tell me of ways and means of avoiding getting angry quickly.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

 

Abu Hurayrah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that a man asked the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ): "Advise me" So, the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) told him: "Do not get angry". The man repeated the same question several times and each time the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) answered in the same answer: "Do not get angry". [Al-Bukhari] Commenting on this narration, Abu Hurayrah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him said: "I thought about the Prophet’s  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) answer and I realized that anger combines all kinds of evil" [Ahmad and Ibn Hibbaan] Furthermore, Ibn At-Teen  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him said: "The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) summarized in this expression "Do not get angry" the good of this worldly life and that of the Hereafter"

 

Anger is an evil trait that can result in severing relationships and can lead to harming the one who enraged the person, all of which may ruin one’s religion, or at least have a negative impact on it.

 

The cure for anger is to avoid its causes and stimulants, which is the meaning of the saying of the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) "Do not get angry" . Therefore, you should find out what makes you angry and avoid it.

 

Moreover, whenever you feel angry, you should seek refuge with Allaah from the devil. Sulaymaan ibn Surad  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that two men abused each other in the presence of the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) and the eyes of one of them turned red and the veins of his neck were swollen. Thereupon the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: ''I know a phrase if he says it, he will get rid of what he has: "I seek refuge with Allaah from the accursed devil". [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

 

Besides, when you feel very angry, then should sit down if you are standing you. If you are sitting, then you should lie down on one of your sides, and if you are already lying down, then you should lie down on your back, as the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: ''If you become angry, then if you are standing you should sit down, and if you are sitting, you should lie down on one of your sides, and if you are already lying down, you should lie down on your back.” [Ibn Abi Ad-Dunya]

 

Among the means of repelling anger and calming down is to perform ablution. ‘Atiyyah ibn ‘Urwah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: ''Anger comes from the devil and the devil was created from fire and fire is distinguished by water. So, if any of you gets angry, he should perform ablution." [Ahmad and Abu Daawood]

 

Moreover, one should remember that suppressing one's anger is a characteristic of the pious people whom Allaah loves. Allaah Says (what means): {…Who restrain anger and who pardon the people- and Allaah loves the doers of good.} [Quran 3:134]

 

Finally, the variety of ways in treating anger shows the great importance that Allaah attached to this human state and how to deal with it, and this is because of the dangerous consequences that it could lead to. For instance, countless families have been broken up, kinship relations have been severed and blood was shed; all of this was in a moment of anger where a person did not ponder upon its consequences.

 

Therefore, a Muslim should strive against his own inclinations, control his anger and be patient. The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: ''The strong person is not the one who defeats others with his physical strength; rather, it is the one who can control himself when he is enraged.” [Al-Bukhari]

 

Allaah Knows best.

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