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Question
I am girl from Pakistan. I have many problems facing such as I don't pray, I have a bad habit to tell lies and I am completely out of Islam. I have a fiancé, we talk almost daily and in his family there are mix gatherings such as "Mehndi" during wedding. There are dances and songs performed by boys and girls together. I don't like this because these days I am beginning to dislike everything that is going on which is un-Islamic. I don't listen to music but my fiancé and his family does and females not covering their heads and openly flirting with their male cousins. When I tried to tell my fiancé that why view point about this is changing so he said he can't do anything. I am really confused. Should I marry this person and make my life miserable and not up bring my children properly in Islamic way? Or should I not marry him? I love him very much and I can't think of leaving him. I don't know what is right and what is wrong. I am trapped badly but I want to implement Islam in my life. I want to marry my fiancé because he may also change once I give him my view points. Please help!
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
First we hope that you have repented to Allaah for not performing the prayer and telling lies, as these are among the great major sins. Some scholars
consider that not performing prayers takes the person out of the fold of Islam. So if you have already repented, and this is what appears from your question, then be grateful to Allaah and praise Him, and if you have not yet repented, then you have to take the initiative to do so [immediately]. As regards your fiancé, if he is not pleasing regarding his religion and moral character and is not vigilant in guarding the honour and dignity of his female relatives, then we do not advise you to marry him unless he repents to Allaah. How can you feel safe about your religion, honour and dignity in the hands of someone who neglects the rights of Allaah and does not care about your honour and dignity? You have to know that being engaged to someone is only a promise for marriage so there is no harm in nullifying this engagement especially that there is a sound and valid reason for that. Allaah may compensate you with a husband better than him. Allah says (which means): {And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty. And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine.}[65:2-3]. Indeed whoever gives something up for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better. Saying that he could change in the future is a statement that should not be taken into account because what assures you that it is not him who will influence you in a bad way and make you become more disobedient to Allaah.
Finally, we draw your attention to the following:
Firstly, all the following matters are forbidden: men mixing with women, singing, musical instruments and women not being dressed in Hijab.
Secondly, a fiancé is a marriageable man with regards to his fiancée, so it is not permissible for him to be in seclusion with her or to talk to her without a need.
Thirdly, it is not permissible to establish an affectionate relationship with this man since he is a marriageable man to you.
Allaah knows best.
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