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Fatwa CenterHer husband watches pornography on the Internet
Question
My concern is rather upsetting. I have a wonderful husband who does everything to please me and he is dedicated to Islam most of the time. He was the one who taught me the meaning of Hijaab and everything else. However, he has a weakness, I have found out that he visits these porn sites I have come across them a few times. When I confront him kindly, he denies it all. Says that they are 'pop ups' that unfortunately come with using the Internet. I believed him but then over the months I come across more and more stuff and he always denies. I have asked him to be honest so as I can help him but he digs his heels in even more. I feel disappointed to the point that we argued one day and it nearly led to divorce because I was tired of it all. It is seriously beginning to affect my marriage because although I love him a lot and he is perfect in everything else he does, I cannot accept this evil act as a part of my life. I don't understand how a decent religious man like him can be involved in something like this. He once mentioned that causing 'Zina' with the eyes, was not the same as committing adultery, that it was to some point 'ok'. I found that comment disturbing. I have been praying to God to show him the right path and to help him overcome this addiction/weakness yet I am sill left feeling disappointed and cheated. I have reached a point now where I don't know whether to open the subject up again (and cause even more arguments) or ignore it and hope he'll wake up (and continue to feel bad towards him). I know he is lying to me when he denies it. I know for sure that although he is careful now not to do it here at home, (and I have no proof) but I know he does it at work. When at home, he does things like close the door when he is on his PC, or quickly hides things when I walk into the room etc... He acts funny and it makes me suspicious. I don't know whether they are just 'wasawees iblis' or that I am just right about the whole thing. I know he will never admit it if he is doing it so how do I handle this? Do I keep confronting him? Do I just preach how wrong it is indirectly? Do I just continue praying for him and leave God to deal with it? If it gets too much, do I have the right to leave him?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
In principle a Muslim is innocent and one should not be suspicious about him unless he is proven guilty. If you have no evidence that your husband is watching porno films, it is not permissible for you to accuse him just out of suspicion, especially that you have mentioned good things about him. So you should not take into account these whispers which might come to your mind as they are but from Satan. If he denies doing so, then how can you accuse him without evidence? You should avoid investigating this matter. However, if it is predestined that there is evidence about him watching these films then you have to advise him kindly without being aggressive towards him or hurting him. The best help in this matter is to supplicate Allaah to guide him. You have to endeavour to beautify yourself to him within what is religiously permissible; and speak to him and act towards him in a soft and gentle manner. As regards asking for divorce, you have no justification for it. So we advise you to be patient with him and endeavour to help him be a righteous man.
Allaah knows best.
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