She is deeply concerned about the future of marriage to a revert (new Muslim)
Fatwa No: 89506

Question

When considering marrying a revert if he has made a conscious effort to learn about Islam and fear of Allaah, what other qualities should be considered before deciding whether to marry a revert? Does consideration of his family and their involvement in my life and that of any future children, be a deciding factor in my decision of marrying a revert?
If his parents have vowed to not interfere in his life in Islam and in their future grandchildren's lives - should this be enough to be sure of limited problems with the in-laws in the future. If the revert is aware of his duty towards his parents - he must be strong never to give into any temptation by them. What if the death of his wife occurs - who should he resort to for assistance with any children? The fear of my future children, Inshaa Allaah, having non-Muslim cousins is of great concern to me. What advice could you give to me and how best should I approach these concerns. Many brothers in Islam, in today's world, can promise to be a certain way before marriage and only Allaah knows if this person is genuine. I would be careful to consider marrying such a person, please give advice. We always strive to keep our creator pleased with us and our actions, but no doubt mistakes will be made. Allaah knows best. I made Du'aa Istikhaara so many times in relation to marriage, the only prospective proposal has been from a revert. I have asked my family for their advice and Inshaa Allaah will seek the advice from my father before taking this proposal seriously. Please advise. May Allaah be pleased with you and your efforts in trying to assist me in this very important topic?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

When getting married, religion and good moral standards are the most important qualities to consider. It is confirmed that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "If a man whose religion and moral character are pleasing proposes to marry your daughter, then marry her off to him." [At-Tirmithi] If a religious person with good moral character loves his wife, he will honour her, and if he does not like her, he will not despise her. Since marriage is a very important matter, then a woman should not hurry to accept the proposal of the person who asks her hand for marriage, rather she should be wise and act with care. Besides, she should offer Istikhaara prayer [for details refer to Fatwa: 81434] and consult those who know the person who proposes to marry her. Therefore, our advice is that if it becomes clear that this man is suitable to be accepted as a husband, then the fact that his family are not Muslims does not harm you. However, since you fear that the family of your husband will affect your children's belief and their conduct, then you have to know that in Islam the husband is obliged to provide his wife with a separate house where you can live far away from the family of your spouse. So if this man guarantees to offer you a separate house, then accept to marry him, otherwise you should not accept to marry him as his family is upon what you have mentioned, and we hope that Allaah will grant you a husband better than him.

Allaah knows best.

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