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Fatwa CenterWants to forgive and forget abuse by a Muslim
Question
A Muslim brother abused me and I want to forgive him and forget it. But whenever his name is mentioned I remember that I feel some pain. Please how can I avoid this because Allaah forbids envy and hatred?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
First of all, we thank you, brother, for your willingness to forgive the person who wronged you, and we advise you to continue your determination to really forgive him. Allaah says (which means): {And to forego it is nearer to righteousness.}[Quran 2:237]. Allaah also says (which means): {But whoever pardons and makes reconciliation his reward is [due] from Allaah.}[Quran 42:40]. Allaah further says (which means): {And whoever is patient and forgives, indeed, that is of the matters [requiring] determination.}[Quran 42:43]. In another verse Allaah says (which means): {…and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allaah should forgive you? And Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.}[Quran 24:22]. Another verse reads (which means): {But if you pardon and overlook and forgive, then indeed, Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.}[Quran 64:14].
Furthermore, the Prophet 
said: "Spending in charity never decreases wealth, and Allaah does not increase the one who pardons except by more honour, and Allaah raises the status of the person who humbles himself for Allaah's Sake." [Muslim]
As regards your feelings when you hear the name of the person who wronged you, in order to repel this feeling you have to repel your heart from thinking about the wrong he did to you, and when his name is mentioned, seek forgiveness for him and for you, and sincerely ask Allaah to guide him; thereafter you will not be held accountable for your feelings, Inshaa' Allaah.
Allaah knows best.
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