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His daughter insists upon marrying a Christian

Question

Thanks for answering my question about those Muslim girls who want to marry non-Muslims (Christians). My question now is when the daughter insists to marry a Christian man and since we are living in Canada and it is by law allowed, me as a father or mother what should I do? In this country marriage is a personal matter and I can't stop it by any way. In this case should I ask my daughter to leave my house and not to talk to her and consider her as (Kaffir) or (Murtada) or what? Is it Haraam in front of Allaah to let her live among us. Please advise me what to do?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

It is probable that the affliction that befalls a Muslim in his family is due to him failing to take the means and measures to protect and preserve the family members under his guardianship that Allaah entrusted him to preserve. The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: ''… and the man is a guardian of his family and will be questioned about them." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] One of these great causes of affliction is residing in non-Muslim countries where there is too much perversion and bad behaviour on the plea of freedom. It is for this reason that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) warned us against residing in non-Muslim countries as he said: "I am exempt from any Muslim who resides among the polytheists [non-Muslims]." [Abu Daawood]

The scholars may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  them stated that if a person fears for his religion by residing in a non-Muslim country, it is an obligation on him to migrate to a Muslim country.

We advise you to be thoroughly determined not to let your daughter marry a non-Muslim. Indeed, all the Muslim scholars may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  them agreed in a consensus that it is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man; their evidence is the saying of Allaah (which means): {And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikun [polytheists, pagans, idolaters, disbelievers] till they believe (in Allaah Alone)}[Quran 2:221].

Even if there is a necessity for you to remain in that non-Muslim country, the necessity of migration in your case is of greater benefit than the necessity of remaining there. It might be that if you migrate from that non-Muslim country to a Muslim country, it would be the best solution for your problem.

If you fear that your daughter would not travel with you, then try to trick her and persuade her until she accepts.

We advise you to remind her of Allaah and frighten her about His Severe Punishment in case she marries a non-Muslim. In doing so, you may seek the help of righteous and pious people to whom she may listen and who might influence her.

If you try to prevent this evil from occurring [her marriage to a non-Muslim], and we hope for your success, but should it happen, then cutting relations with her depends upon the benefit for doing so. If you are sure that cutting relations with her will deter her, then it is more appropriate to cut relations with her, but if you are sure that by cutting relations with her, she will be more disobedient and sinful, then it is more appropriate not to cut relations with her.

As regards driving her away from home, it is feared that this will cause her more affliction and cause her to be more corrupt, and she might even apostate from Islam. So we do not advise you to do so. On the contrary, if you drive her away from home, this might correspond to her desires and so she would fulfil what she wants. So, cutting relations with her, while keeping her at home, is more of a deterrent to her.

To conclude, we emphasize what we mentioned at the beginning that you are obliged to migrate in order to avoid this embarrassment and avoid reasons of affliction.

For more details, please refer to Fataawa: 89738, 88406 and 87151.

Allaah Knows best.

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