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Conditions for a husband to have sex with his wife

Question

Can a husband who is not taking good care of his wife compulsorily have sex with the wife despite the fact that the wife is not happy with him and not in sexual mood?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Both spouses should live in harmony with each other and love eath other as these are among the most important objectives of marriage. Allaah Says (what means): {And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy….}[Quran 30:21]

Moreover, the husband should live honorably with his wife as Allaah Says (what means): {…And live with them honorably….}[Quran 4:19] "Honourably" means that he should fulfill her rights, avoid harming her, and he should be kind to her, etc..., especially that the husband needs to have intimate relations with his wife, so how can he do that if there is some hatred between them. The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "How could one of you beat his wife like a slave, then have sexual intercourse with her in the last part of the night." [Ahmad]

Nonetheless, if a husband calls his wife to bed, she is obliged to accept even if she does not like as long as she is able to do so, i.e. there is no harm on her that prevents her from that, like an illness and the like.

It is confirmed that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "When a man calls his wife for his need, she should come to him even if she is in the furnace." [At-Tirmithi]

Moreover, Al-Bukhari and Muslim  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  them reported that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "When a man calls his wife to his bed (for sexual intercourse) and she refuses and he spends the night upset with her, the angels keep on cursing her till the morning."

Allaah Knows best.

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