I am in a huge dilemma and going through very bad times. I need advice. 2 years ago, I got secretly married to someone who I loved without my parents' knowledge. My husband gave me so much love and care that I felt like the luckiest woman on Earth. However, my husband had cheated on his previous girlfriend to be with me. But after marrying me, he became very religious and we both read Namaz 5 times a day. But I sometimes abused my husband's love because I knew he would do anything to keep me happy. I am with Allah's blessings rather good looking and I have had other men taking interest in me. As a result, my husband used to get very upset but I know I have never broken his trust. However, few months ago, I found out that he was flirting with his cousin for a few days. I was really shocked and extremely hurt. He said it was only a joke and swore by the Quran and Allaah that he has never fancied/loved any girl but me after marrying me. But I still find that hard to believe, I have been depressed and suicidal and asked him for a divorce. Out of anger he gave me 2 Talaaq. However, he did not realize that 2 Talaaq were enough to break our marriage. Later he wanted to be intimate with me but I said we are divorced now. He said 'we're not, we are husband and wife'. But I said I still need time to think through everything. As a result, we have not had sexual intercourse after this and I am waiting for 3 months to end. But I want to know if his statement means our divorce is not valid? I have a proposal from someone at the moment who loves me. He asked his parents to send a proposal to me but his family were against this but reluctantly agreed and his mother made Istikhaarah. She dreamt that a tree was being chopped and she was crying. I cannot tell anyone about my secret marriage and the divorce. I am wondering is it because of my secret marriage and incomplete divorce that his mother is seeing these dreams with her Istikhaarah? Please advise me. Only Allaah Knows truth.
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
If this marriage took place without the consent of your guardian, then this marriage is void, as the consent of the guardian is a condition for the validity of marriage according to the most preponderant opinion and this is the view of the majority of scholars. However, the divorce that takes place from this marriage is taken into account if we adopt the view of the few scholars who say that the marriage without the consent of the guardian is valid, and this divorce is a revocable divorce. He can marry you after the end of your waiting period if it is not the third divorce, and other men can approach you for marriage after the end of your waiting period.
Finally, the following matters should be mentioned:
1- The jurists agreed that it is forbidden to approach a woman who is still in the waiting period for marriage, as regards approaching a woman who is divorced from an invalid marriage then this is permissible according to the majority of the scholars.
2- We cannot interpret the dream that you mentioned in the question and whether or not it has any relation with this invalid marriage.
3- It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to establish any affectionate relationship with a marriageable man, as being negligent in this matter could lead to evil consequences, and it is a means of corruption, so one should be careful.
Allaah Knows best.
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