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Fatwa CenterHer former school teacher proposed to her
Question
I am 17 years and attending an Islamic high school. There was a teacher that I always respected and prayed that one day I could merry someone with those qualities. Recently he stopped teaching at our school. He was never my teacher but he substituted for us a lot. I never talked to him only if it was about Islam because he is really knowledgeable in that area. About 2 weeks after that I found that he wanted to ask for my hand and he wanted to know by me first if it was ok. I was really shocked he is about 27 and really religious. He takes a big part in the Masjid, he is an Imaam at a Turkish Masjid and really involved in the Islamic community. I asked my friend why he wanted to marry me and she said it was because he always saw that I was different from all the girls, I respected myself and never talked to him only when I wanted to ask a question and because he liked my personality, also because he respects the way I am and the way that I really like Islam and so on. I thought about it for a while I was really confused I did Salat Istikharah, I did not have a dream but I started noticing a lot of things that I liked about him and a lot of my views began to change. He than asked my friend if we could both meet to make sure both our views and intensions were the same. I agreed. We meat and we talked, not alone, almost all our views were the same. After the meeting he has been waiting an answer and I have no idea what to say. The problem is, is that my parents don't know even though he plans to come ask for my hand when I finish high school. I am scared to say yes because my parents might say no for many reasons, like he is Turkish and my parents only believe in marrying someone who is from Palestine, another reason would be because he was once involved in our school, or because he is older. I really don't love him but the thing that I like about him is his Islamic character. He himself did Salat Al-Istikaarah and dream of a garden. And he knew that it was the right things. My question is what do I do?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
We appreciate your adherence to Islam. May Allaah bless you and grant you a happy life. Our advice is as follows:
a) Meeting a man even if he wants to marry you without the permission of your parents is a sin. So, you have to repent from that act and should not repeat it. See Fatwa 84281 and 81668.
b) If he wants to marry you, he has to approach your guardian and ask for your hand. See the details in Fataawa 84875 and 90130.
c) A woman needs a guardian to help her choose a good husband. So, she should not marry against her guardian will see Fatwa 83887.
Therefore, we advise you to immediately cut all your relations with this man and inform your parents about the case.
Lastly, if he is religious and of noble character, then you may should try to convince your parents to marry you off to him.
Allaah Knows best.
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