I have just recently had my Nikaah with my husband, and I understand that this now makes us lawful for one another. I have heard in many Hadeeth that when a man calls his wife to bed she must obey but I am worried that I may get pregnant before our actual wedding, which is in the summer. Also if my parents knew about it they would not be happy at all. Please tell me what is the correct thing to do in this situation. Inshaa Allaah we will all be guided to the truth. Thank you and may Allaah reward you for your efforts.
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
What you mentioned is correct, that a husband is allowed to enjoy his wife if he conducted the marriage contract with her. This is because she became his wife as soon as the marriage contract was concluded. However, the husband should take into account the prevailing customs and should fulfil what was agreed upon, like delaying the consummation of marriage from the time of the contract. In this regard, please refer to Fatwa 88658.
As regards the narrations which you mentioned and which suggest that a wife is obliged to accept the request of her husband when he calls her to bed, they are authentic. For instance the Prophet , said: "When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses and he spends the night upset with her, the angels keep on cursing her till the morning." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
The scholars made some exceptions to the above narration, for instance in case the husband did not pay her the immediate dowry, or that she is very young and is not physically fit for sexual intercourse, or during the period when her bridal room is being prepared and arranged (i.e., buying furniture and so on). In these cases, she is not obliged to let her husband have sexual intercourse with her. The scholars stated that the bride is to be given a period of time which is enough for the preparation of her house, a period similar to the one given to women in her condition and status, and according to the norms (i.e. the local custom) and that the husband is forbidden from entering to his wife before the elapse of this period of preparation which is determined by local custom.
Therefore, since delaying the consummation of marriage is for a sound reason from your side or from your guardian, then you are not obliged to accept the order of your husband [when he calls you to bed] during this period, especially if your parents are not pleased with this.
Allaah Knows best.
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