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Her husband visits pornographic sites and wants intercourse daily

Question

assalamu aleikum My husband has an extremely high libido wich makes him want to share the bed with me almost every night. I am pregnant with my fourth child ( my oldest is 4 yaers of age ) masha Allah. So you can ubderstand that this is exhausting for me wa alhamdullilah. My husband doesn't really understand my situation and becomes irritated and angry with me ( and our children ) when i refuse to come to him in bed. Yesterday my suspicions came true when i accidently found out he has been looking at certain websites astaghfirAllah. My husband is a practising muslim alhamdullilah and i know that this is not what he wants in his heart, but his temper is withholding me from arguing with him about this. I am so sad about this. Our marriage was conducted according to quraan and sunnah ( i am a convert my husband a born muslim ) alhamdullilah and is kept my mahr really low to insha Allah increase barakah in our marriage but i do not know what to do now. Please help me here i am desperate. I do not want to leave my husband but i do not know how to help him. Djazzakum Allahu khairan i am waiting for your reply wa salamu aleikum a sad sister

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, all perfect praise be to Allaah, Who guided you to Islam and we ask Him to make you firm and steadfast on His Religion until the day you meet Him.

Undoubtedly, it is not permissible for a Muslim to visit pornographic sites. If your husband did so, he has indeed committed a sin.

The first thing that you may do in order to turn him into a righteous man is to earnestly supplicate Allaah to guide him. If he repents, it could be that this will solve the problem of him wanting intercourse every night.

The scholars  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  them stated that the wife is obliged to respond to her husband when he calls her to bed but this is conditioned on her not being harmed by this. If she is harmed, she is not obliged to respond to his request. Therefore, your husband must take this into consideration, because this is treating the wife with kindness and this is an Islamically legislated matter.

Therefore, we advise you to counsel your husband in light of the above and choose a suitable time for doing so. If he is able to marry a second wife, then you should advise him to do so, accept this from him and seek for him a pious woman for marriage.

Allaah Knows best.

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