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Her husband asks her for money, beats her and has an affair

Question

ASLAAM ALIKUM my husband beat me up because he wanted money from me so i left him for 5 weeks and returned in feb(i was stayin in a bnb),he doesnt work,we were having an argument over money again and he told me that he has another women who he is going to marry,im the 2nd of his 2 wives,he told me that he has met up with her a few times and is waiting for her to run away from home so that they can get married,he makes me feel unloved and so hurt,im a practising muslim and he practised for 2 years but not now,in the past he used to get calls from girls and stay on the internet in chat rooms till early morning,a friend of mine said he used to follow her.he is always threating to beat me and on many occasions he has,my love for him has weakend.everytime he is out im thinking he is with her because he doesn't answer my calls for hours,he has a seperate phone on which she only calls this is what he has told me.he says he is waitin for her to run away and that they don't meet up or talk but i know him there is no doubt in my mind he is still seeing her,i want divorce but i 2 ran away from hme and have no where or no 1 2 turn to,please advise me of waht to do.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, it is not permissible for a husband to beat his wife without a sound reason, like her being disobedient to him as clarified in Fatwa 89495, and it is not permissible for him to beat her because she refuses to give him money. Moreover, it is forbidden for him to take any of her money except with her permission.

The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “A Muslim's property [money] is unlawful unless he gives it with his proper consent.[Ahmad]

However, the husband is obliged to spend on his wife and not her spending on him. Indeed, the scholars  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  them stated that if a husband does not have enough money to spend on himself and on the people on whom he is obliged to spend, then he is obliged to endeavour to earn money.

As regards a wife going out of her husband’s home without a sound reason, then this is not permissible. However, if she goes out as a way of repelling his harm and she has no other way to repel that harm except by going out without his permission, then she is permitted to do so.

Besides, if a husband threatens his wife to beat her, then this is contrary to the order to Allaah of being kind with one’s wife.

Nonetheless, if you are harmed by staying with your husband –and this is what appears from the question –then you have the right to ask for divorce. However, you should not hasten to ask for divorce unless you make sure whether the benefit is in separating from him or in being patient with him and endeavouring to rectify him.

On the other hand, we advise you to admonish him about the prohibitions that you are sure that he commits, like chatting with non-Mahram women and the like. However, it is not permissible to accuse him of disgraceful conduct just out of suspicion, or just because of being informed about it by one of your female friends. Allaah Says (what means): {O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin}[Quran 49:12] Allaah also Says (what means): {O you who have believed if there comes to you a disobedient one with information, investigate, lest you harm a people out of ignorance and become, over what you have done, regretful.}[Quran 49:6]

As regards your husband marrying a second wife, then this is Islamicly permitted, but he is obliged to be just between both of you. Moreover, you have the right to ask him about your rights but you are not permitted to object to his marrying a second wife.

Finally, it should be noted that it is not permissible for a Muslim to marry a woman except with the consent of her guardian, and if a woman does not have a Muslim guardian, then it is the Muslim community who should marry her off.

For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 83629 and 86196.

Allaah Knows best.

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