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Fatwa CenterHer mother-in-law is creating problems for her and her husband
Question
AOA, my question is my mother in law is creating problems for me and my husband she tries to ruin every happy thing in life even eid she makes issues of small small things that my mother said that i said that i m not wearing clothes that she gave for eidi from the bari and now asking my husband not to wear what my mother gave him on eidi my mother in law have problem with his son that he meets me otr sumtym spend time with me we didnt had ruksati yet and the excuse she gives is that its not right to meet before ruksati not gud thing cause shadi is not complete before ruskati nikah doesnt mean that we should talk or meet each other in our society its not considered good before ruskati people say bad things if we wil meet before ruksati my husband tried his best to make her understand but she dont understand and so does his father say nething to his mother we applied for visa n it was retrned without anything and when we found out from a mufti he told k bandish was done and that was done by my mother in law so that my husband dont take me with him abroad and now she trying to make him a mental patient by giving him mental medicines he is the only son he tried every way to b gud but she is not understanding she tring every thing to make his life bad not washing his clothes and the one washed hiding them n not giving him to wear and many such problems that are of no reason we dont know what to do she making our married life bad we are always sad or sometime crying what to do and she not stop in doing things that harm us and our married life plzz i need some guidence its just been 9 months to our nikah we are v depressed please guide us what to do n i want to know everyone say about parents rite dont children ahve anyrite in islam are parents allowed to do anything they liked and not to be questioned where is the justise and equality that isalm said off please help us
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
If the situation is as you mentioned about your mother-in-law, and that she tries to cause problems for trivial reasons, then she is wrong. However, we advise you to be wise and not be lured by the devil who wants to cause enmity between both of you while you are still at the beginning of your marital life. You should take the initiative to wear the clothes that she gifts you if they are permissible to wear in Islam.
On the other hand, if a woman’s marriage contract is conducted between a man and her guardian, she becomes his wife, and so, he is permitted to do anything that a husband is permitted to do with his wife, like sitting with her, talking with her and so forth. Nonetheless, if there are any customs for delaying the consummation of the marriage, then this should be taken into account so that no embarrassment could be caused to the family of the wife as discussed in Fatwa 88658.
Furthermore, it is not permissible for anyone to accuse the mother of your husband for doing magic to your husband (about you) without evidence, and a Mufti who has religious knowledge would not do so; rather, it is done by a person who wants to cause affliction between the Muslims; this is what the magicians generally do. It is unimaginable that a wise mother would harm her only son.
As regards washing his clothes, she is not obliged to do so but it is not permissible for her to hide his clothes from him.
Therefore, we advise you to be patient with her and supplicate Allaah to rectify her affairs. You may seek the help of righteous people so that they would bring her back to the right path. We advise you to hasten to complete the marriage and live with your husband in an independent accommodation as this may be a reason for staying away from problems; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 84608.
In fact, children have rights on their parents, among which is that the parents should not do what could harm their children or cause difficulty to them. However, the rights of the parents are greater; their children are obliged to be kind and dutiful to their parents at all cases. Even if the parents mistreat their children, the latter are still obliged to be kind and dutiful to their parents.
Allaah Knows best.
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