I recently started working and as a show of trust on my husband I let him manage my money also in whatever way he wants. I have noticed in the past few times he has been giving me wrong information on where he spent the money. It was more obvious when I asked him about it and he raised his voice. I found out that he has been spending my money on his relatives for both charity and gifts. Not only did I feel bad on not knowing where my money went. But also he told me that we are short of money now and I must postpone my eid plans.
I know from all the fatwas here that only I have the right on my money but I also know that if I will tell him that, he will get very angry.
If I give up my rights and my hard earned money to keep love between us, does that earn me any sawab? Or is it better for me to get myself out of this frustration and protect my rights. I want to be able to spend my money myself or else I see no reason of working so hard and getting not even a dime at the end of the month to spend. And if I will not work we will have lesser money and that will make him angry all the time.
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
The entire wealth that the wife possesses whether it is from her job, or a gift, or inheritance or dowry etc…is considered as her own right and it is not permissible for her husband to dispose of it except with her permission as previously discussed in Fataawa 101899 and 89170.
Besides, your general permission to him does not allow him to dispose of your money as he wishes; rather, he should deal with it according to the customs of the people. In his interpretation of Saheeh Muslim, An-Nawawi said: “With regard to the saying of the Prophet : 'And whatever she (the wife) spent from his (the husband’s) earnings without his permission, then half of the reward is for him…”, know that all this is in regard to a small amount that the owner knows in general, but if this amount exceeds what is usually known, then this is not acceptable, and this is the meaning of the saying of the Prophet : "If a woman gives in charity some of the foodstuff (which she has in her house) without spoiling it….”, so, the Prophet pointed to an amount about which the husband usually agrees, and he also pointed to this by referring to food, because in general food is usually permitted [to be given as an act of charity] contrarily to money [be it Dinars or Dirhams] in regard to many people and in many cases.”
If this is the case in regard to the wife disposing of her husband’s money, then this applies also to the husband disposing of his wife’s money, because it is not religiously permissible for any spouse to dispose of the money of the other spouse except with his permission.
Therefore, we advise you not to leave the matter to your husband to dispose of your money as he wishes, but you should be wise in dealing with this matter with him so that this will not lead to unpleasant consequences. Nevertheless, if you think to be patient with him as a way of keeping good relations between you and him, then you may do so and you will be rewarded by Allaah.
Allaah Knows best.
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