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Fatwa CenterHer husband does not talk to her if she advises him in the affairs of his religion
Question
I am a convert to Islam, i have been trying for the past 4 years to guide my husband, a born Muslim to live up to Islam and to stand for what he is as head of the house. To no avail, i end up getting hurt all the time, when i talk to my husband about Islam, encouraging him to do what is right and to live in the ways Allah (SWT) wants us to live, then he does not speak to me, and i mean doesnt speak to me at all until i go to him and speak to him about normal things, but when it regards Islam he shuts me out completely and that is with silent treatment. He doesnt come speak to me until i speak to him and non islamic. I converted to islam before we married and love Islam, but also wish my husband to follow Islam with me but it is if i committed a crime when i mention Islam and his duties and responsibilities he neglects but runs quickly for material things, i also work outside the home, but still i have to see to everything... which i dont mind, but why do i then get this treatment from him, i see to most financial needs, household needs as he is unable to care for and NEVER do i tell him he is not good enough, i rather give him everything he wants. materially to keep him happy, if he wants a car etc, but when i want to lead Islam (as in confront him about his neglecting Islam) then i get silent treatment for days on end as if i may never mention it nor tell him / guide him in the ways of Islam. I am extremely hurt, i dont mind working and seeing to everything, all i want from him is to lead the household as he is the leader of the home, and not get upset with me and NOT, i mean NOT speak to me just because i want to live an islamic life and remind him all the time, i converted to Islam, just before we got married, i really depended on his guidence that we would lead and live a happy islamic life, But he treats me as if i committed a huge sin and thats only when i mention Islam. trying to bring him to fullfill his duties and head of the home. We hav 1 child, a son.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, we thank and praise Allaah Who guided you to Islam and we ask Him to make you firm and steadfast on His Religion until the Day you meet Him.
May Allaah reward you for being keen on guiding your husband to do good, as this is one of the most important acts of worship and you will be rewarded whether or not your husband accepts your Da'wah (Islamic proselytizing). We advise you to continue admonishing him and guiding him in a soft and gentle manner by choosing the most suitable time to do so.
We also advise you to supplicate to Allaah to guide him and rectify his affairs, Allaah Says (what means): {And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me-indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me.}[Quran 2:186]
In fact, it is your husband who should have been keen on doing what you are doing as he was brought up in a Muslim family while you are a new Muslim. Praise be to Allaah Who Says (what means): {Indeed, [O Muhammad], you do not guide whom you like, but Allaah guides whom He wills.}[Quran 28:56]
Moreover, it is very strange that he rejects your advice, but his silence when you talk to him about this subject is better than him causing you some problems that would have unpleasant consequences.
On the other hand, your husband is obligated to spend on you and your child. Therefore, you should continue advising him to look for a job and carry out his duties. Also, you should remind him of the saying of the Prophet : "…and the man is a guardian of his family and will be questioned about the people under his guardianship." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Finally, it is by being patient and by supplicating for him that you may achieve good results, Allaah willing.
Allaah Knows best.
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