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Fatwa CenterHer husband refuses to let her help her father divorce her step-mother
Question
Dear Sheikh asallaamoe aleikoem, I'm from Holland and have some quetions: 1. i am married but my father is divorced and lives with us with my brother. Should i obey my father or my husband (in diffrent situations)? Because my husband says not to interfere in the divorce stituation between my father and my steph mother? But my father let me to do al the paperwork and other stuff that goes allong with the divorce. please give me advice 2. I dont go to the house of my parents in Law for more than one year now because i cant get along with the brothers en sisters of my husband. To keep it short there a somethings happend in the past that caused this. is this a sin? wa djazakkalahoe gairan
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
There is no doubt that being kind and dutiful to the father is one of the most confirmed obligations and one of the best deeds by which one gets closer to Allaah as Allaah ordered us to do so in His Book and the Prophet confirmed it in many Ahaadeeth.
On the other hand, both of obeying the husband in what is permissible and fulfilling his rights are also an obligation. First of all, you should not assume that these two rights [i.e. the right of your father and the right of your husband] contradict each other; rather, it is more proper to try to fulfill both of them. If we presume that the right of the parent conflicts with the right of the husband, then the right of the husband comes in priority. This is in general.
As regards finalizing the divorce papers for your father, then your father or brother may do this, or he may authorize any considerable authority, like solicitors and the like, to do that. If both alternatives are not possible and your father needs your help, then you should try to convince your husband to give you permission to carry out this task. In case your husband does not give you permission, then you are obligated to obey him [your husband], and you should try to please your father if he is angry with you. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 108161.
As regards your second question, then the answer is that being kind to the in-laws and keeping ties with them is something religiously required. Therefore, whenever it is possible to keep ties with your in-laws and to visit them, then you should do so as this is one of the reasons that brings more affection (between you and them). Moreover, if there are any kinship relations between you and them, then you has to keep ties with them but if you are harmed by this, then you are not obligated to do so.
Allaah Knows best.
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