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He can not forget the sinful past of his wife

Question

ASWK. With ref to my Q: 2261281 and related Fatwa: 133685, on 29.3.2010. There is more to it. As you asked me to forgive my wife about her having an affair before our marriage with the man who is wakil in my marriage on my behalf. But, I am sad to bring it to your notice that she had telephonic conversations with that man even after 16 months of our marriage, she sat in that person’s car to move places, she address him as a brother. I happened to meet him twice sensed strongly fishy. One day I have come to know that she had sat beside him in his car to get drop from her granny home to her home. When I asked her how she came back home, she replied by taxi, that is the point my doubt became true that she had lied to me. I had to investigate and found out that she had slept with him before marriage (she confessed). I knew she asked him to marry but he denied. Now, brief about my wife and how I married her. This is her 3rd marriage for her and 2nd marriage for me. She divorced her 1st husband. After few years she married my elder wife’s brother to whom she is cousin and she divorced him after 2 years of marriage in 2004. During her this 2nd marriage I knew her actually, from there I had developed soft corner for her assuming she had went through very difficult phases in her life time and I should help her some how. After her 2nd divorce in 2002 she had an affair with a man for 2 years who denied marrying her later, then she came in contact with this man who is my wakil in my marriage with whom she had illicit relation. I am unable to live every day thinking how she deceived, cheated and kept me in dark who has gave her respectable life, a legal wife status. taken enmity with the family members of my first wife and hurtled my first wife badly. For all my sacrifices I am being rewarded by deception, that is hurting me much, Im unable to concentrate on anything except feeling betrayal. I humbly request your advice, do I keep my marriage intact,if so how? or seek divorce.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

With regard to divorce, it is lawful, so you are entitled to divorce your wife if you wish to do so and you may keep her. However, we confirm what we already mentioned to you that it is not permissible to consider your wife as being unfaithful to you without clear evidence, as this is a great cause of mischief.

Nonetheless, if you find a strong indication about your wife’s misconduct, then you should advise her and warn her of the punishment of Allaah, and you should endeavor to protect her and oblige her to observe Hijab and not mix with non-Mahram men and so forth. Then, if she becomes righteous, praise be to Allaah, otherwise, it is better to divorce her so that she would not disgrace you and bring shame upon you and give birth to children who are not from you.

Allaah Knows best.

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