She can not stand living with her in-laws
Fatwa No: 137042


`Assalamalaikum,i wish to get the best advice from here.iam married for 2yrs now and from the first month itself my inlaws had problems with me.i tried listening to every possible thing of theirs including cooking,respecting them,loving my husband and the other members.but there was always a conflict between husband used to support me in the first year of marriage but slowly slowly his parents started saying ill about me and my husband is very innocent guy he listens to people especially his father whatever he says.i have a 8 monthd old girl and when she was born my husbands father force my father to do what is haram in islam like doing the ceremony after 7 months pregnancy and to give gold and bear the expenses of my dlivery to which my father inlaws always had problems with my father because of all this.they didnt like me going to my parents house.after all this problems also i tried adjusting with thm but they crossed their limits when my father in law n my husband dropped my on the road with my baby at night mistake was that my father in law told me that im not going to step outside his house and i replied him saying that i cannot break my relations with them. now im in my fathers house and hes bearing all my expenses my husband didnt allow me to take even a single cloth from my inlaws house.i told him to live with me separately because nor me nor his parents wants to live with each husband doesnt agree to d this he wants to live with hi parents but i told him to live with them but make us live in a separate accomodation.he is not agreeing and sayig he will remarry and make his other wife stay with them.please advice me what shall i do.i told him i want to come back to him but when he makes me stay away from his parents.he is worried about his money.he is a religious guy and follows only Quran and hadeeth but his parents are not religious.myhusband also doesnt used to give me pocketmoney and also my expenses before the fight.


All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.


A wife has a right in a separate accommodation and the husband is obliged to provide her with it according to his ability; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 84608.

In general, such an accommodation often prevents the occurrence of such problems (mentioned in the question) between the wife and her in-laws. In any case, your husband is obliged to provide you with a separate accommodation and he may buy or rent an accommodation that is near his family so that he may visit them or ask about them very often.

The father of your husband is not permitted to prevent you from going to your family, and if your husband prevents you from that, then there is a difference of opinion among the jurists  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  them whether or not the wife is obliged to obey him in this regard.

In any case, what you mentioned about your husband and his father that they kicked you out of the car in the middle of the road at night is a reckless and irresponsible act, as by doing so, they exposed you and your baby to danger.

However, it is not permissible for a wife to go out of the marital house except for a sound reason; otherwise she is rebellious and disobedient. Nonetheless, if you went out due to him not providing you with an independent accommodation or because of him not spending on you and the like, then you are not sinful.

Our advice to you is that you should appoint some rational and righteous people to negotiate with your husband and his father about this matter and try to reconcile between you and them as reconciliation is good. If reconciliation takes place, then praise be to Allaah, and if not, then you should balance between what is better for you: asking for divorce or staying with your husband and being patient with him.

On the other hand, your husband is permitted to marry a second wife if he is able to be just between both of you, but he should not consider this as a means of threatening you.

As regards what you mentioned about celebrating the seventh month of the pregnancy, then this includes two prohibitions:

1-     This is an innovation that replaced the Sunnah of the ‘Aqeeqah and it includes some prohibitions, like throwing salt believing that this repels the evil eye and benefits the new-born.

2-     Obliging the father of the wife to gift gold to the girl [his pregnant daughter] or bearing the expenses of her delivery, and this is not permissible.

Finally, it should be noted that it is not permissible to accuse the wife of something abominable without evidence, and if the husband is informed of something bad about his wife, he should make sure that he has evidence as Allaah ordered us as He Says (what means): {O you who have believed if there comes to you a disobedient one with information, investigate, lest you harm a people out of ignorance and become, over what you have done, regretful.}[Quran 49:6]

Allaah Knows best.

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