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An old father with high blood pressure uttering metaphors of divorce

Question

My friend narrates “ My father (Aqib 72 years of age) got married to my mother (Robina 65 years of age) in 1964. My parents were living peacefully and in harmony TILL LAST ABOUT 5 TO 6 YEARS. My father has high blood pressure since 25 years and is on medication. My father used to have cool temperament in early days of life till appearance of this disease after which it converted to a volatile one. He started getting irritated frequently and used to behave in a manner which is NOT EXPECTED out of a normal human being. He would hate people and avoid interacting with them. He would ask my mother to stop people coming to our home on one pretext or the other and she used to obey him almost always. His attitude with my mother got harsher and harsher and a number of times DURING LAST 5 to 6 YEARS he has narrated to my mother (I AM DEAD FOR YOU, YOU ARE DEAD FOR ME) and (OUR PATHS/WAYS ARE SEPARATE) and (YOU ARE FREE FROM MY SIDE AND CAN GO ANYWHERE, ) at arguments when he asked my mother to stop all people coming to our home even our neighbors even brothers and sisters of my mother or who so ever, but he NEVER USED WORD OF TALAQ. My father’s memory is getting deteriorated since last 5 to 6 years so much so that he does not remember death of his elder sister about 4-5 years back. He cannot take medicine by himself as he does not remember if he has taken the dose or not so my mother gives her medicine regularly. He spends most of his time alone in his room. IF SEATED WITH US HE WOULD REPEAT A QUESTION 4-5 TIMES AND WHEN TOLD THAT YOU ASKED SAME THING BEFORE SO MANY TIMES BUT HE WOULD STRAIGHT AWAY NEGATE IT. Now for the last 1-2 years he has started meeting people and chatting with them, loves kids, respects my mother quite often and is cool and calm BUT complains of brain weakness always, and the partial loss of memory still is getting worse. Now the QUESTION of my mother is that keeping in view all the above mentioned story, is there any doubt in marital relations.”

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

These words which your father uttered are considered among the metaphors of divorce, and the metaphors of divorce do not lead to divorce unless the husband intended it as clarified in Fataawa 90416 and 90531.

Therefore, if your father can remember what he had intended with these words, then he must act according to what he had intented and if he does not remember, then, in principle, the marriage bond between your father and your mother is still valid until the contrary is proven. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 83467.

Allaah Knows best.

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