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The customary meaning of the words of divorce

Question

Assalamuaaikum i just want to ask a question regarding my marraige I asked you and then i asked another imam on darulihsan website which was "Asalamualikum on one occasion i said to my wife main ap ko hamesha kiliye chor raha hoo ( i am leaving you forever ) but i did not have the intention of dvorcing instead i was stupidly immitating or play acting a movie scene, like a death scene. does this constitute as dvorce". I was in London at the time and my wife in pakistan and it was over the phone that i said this. you replied : I did not have intention of divorce therefore it will not be a divorce but Shafique A Jakhura (Mufti) replied: "The words were said as though the husband is dying and in that state he is bidding farewell to his wife with these words. Further, since these words were used in London, you should ensure whether there is a urf for these words in London or not. If there is no urf then this would not construe a divorce. Apparently it does not appear as though these words constitute a divorce." i dont think there is urf if thespoken language here in london is english and im living in a english speaking environment, my wife was in pakistan as i was speaking to her on the phone, if i just go with the opinion that alot of scholars online have told me and that you told me in the beginning that it does it not constitute dvorce (and i did not have any intention of dvorce) is that just okay or is it necessary to find out ifthere is urf, when as you sad apparently it does not constitute dvorce aswell as im not living in a urdu speaking environment and i said the words in urdu

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Your statement to your wife “I am leaving you forever” is probably a promise of divorce and is also probably something other than a promise of divorce; in any case, divorce does not take place unless you enforce it and actually initiated divorce.

We have previously advised you not to move from one Mufti to another asking the same question about a particular incident, as this will cause you to have doubts that will increase your uncertainty and confusion, especially that you have whispers about divorce.

As regards customs of people, then they have a role in regard to the words of divorce as well as the words of oaths and vows and the like. However, this depends on the customs of the speaker [and not the country where he is]. Al-Mardaawi  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him from the Hanbali School, said: “The words are taken into consideration absolutely according to the customs of the speaker.”

Therefore, you should know that your wife is not divorced and there is no need to ask again about this matter.

Allaah Knows best.

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