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He disagreed with his mother about the date of his sister’s marriage

Question

This ali I am working in Kuwait as a accountant & My age is 30 years coming to ? before 1 year there was a proposal for my sister marriage my mother had accepted to that and I followed to her at that time after some time my sister wood be family had change the secluded of the marriage which I didn’t agree because of vacation , to that my mother had bad words with me and I had responded to the same way with her. From that date onward she stated to gave the treated about my behavior in the last ground of human being , but I am trying to call her but she is refuse to talk with me , my question to you is what should I do to forgive me & does someone can give a treated of last ground like this for small reasons pleases help me in this matter and suggested me is it possible in Islam with out a permission of his elder son in absent of his father does she can do the marriage if yes can brief it

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

A mother has a great right on her son as it was her who carried him in her womb while suffering weakness upon weakness, so it is an obligation to be kind and dutiful to her and it is forbidden to mistreat her by any kind of mistreatment. Therefore, responding to your mother in the same manner she spoke to you is considered as undutifulness toward her and this is a grave major sin. The fact that your mother mistreated you, even though she is not permitted to do so, is not a sound reason for you to mistreat her. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 84942 and 89078.

Therefore, you should sincerely repent to Allaah; for more benefit on the conditions of repentance, please refer to Fatwa 86527.

Hence, we first advise you to ask Allaah as much as possible to make your mother pleased with you, and you may seek the help of some people who may influence her hoping that Allaah enables you to win her pleasure.

As regards the marriage of your sister, then it is permissible for you to seek the delay of her marriage until you come if there is a sound reason for that. However, you are not permitted to interfere in the matter in a domineering manner giving orders for the delay of the marriage; even though marriage is among the good objectives that Muslims should take the initiative to achieve as soon as possible.

Furthermore, if the father of the girl is present or that he is absent for a short while or it is possible to contact him so that he would appoint someone to act on his behalf, then it is him who should marry her off.

However, if he is absent and unable to come, or that it is not possible to contact him, or that his whereabouts are not known, then his guardianship moves to the one who deserves the guardianship after him according to the order that we have mentioned in Fatwa 83338, whereas some jurists  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  them are of the view that the guardianship is transferred to the Islamic judge.

For more benefit on the conditions of a correct marriage, please refer to Fatwa 83629.

Allaah Knows best.

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