Wants to live with her husband without sexual relation
Fatwa No: 156219

  • Fatwa Date:12-5-2011 - Jumaadaa Al-Aakhir 9, 1432
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Question

What if i want my husband to get married again for the second time, I realized that he is no longer happy with me for many reasons. And I am willing to give him up as I am not happy anymore the way we stay together. But the thing is we have son and I just want to stay with him for my son sake without going thru divorce. Is it possible to stay with him without sexual relationship?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Having sexual intercourse is a mutual right of the spouses and each spouse has the right to enjoy the other; for more benefit on the rights of spouses towards each other, please refer to Fataawa 83157 and 85308.

Therefore, if your husband agrees that you stay with him as his wife without any sexual relation between you and him, then this is permissible. Indeed, Sawdah (the Prophet's wife)  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  her renounced her night [i.e. her night turn with the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam] to ‘Aa’ishah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  her as reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  them.

Moreover, Imaam Maalik  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him narrated in “Al-Muwatta’” that Raafi’ Ibn Khadeej Al-Ansaari  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him agreed with one of his wives that she renounces some of her rights, and he kept her in this condition and he did not consider what he did was a sin, as she agreed to it.

Al-Baaji  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him in his commentary on “Al-Muwatta’” said: “If she gave him permission to this effect, then this is permissible as Sawdah Bint Zam’ah gifted her day (i.e. her night) to ‘Aa’ishah seeking the pleasure of the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) in doing so; therefore, the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) used to stay with ‘Aa’ishah for two days (i.e. two nights).

Nonetheless, we advise both you and your husband to remove the causes of this aversion between you and this is easy if you sincerely intend to do so; Allaah Says (what means): {If they both desire reconciliation, Allaah will cause it between them. Indeed, Allaah is ever Knowing and Acquainted [with all things].}[Quran 4:35]

Hence, you should supplicate Allaah with an attentive heart while being certain that Allaah will answer your supplication as Allaah treats His slave according to his expectation from Him. A person who hopes in Allaah will never fail.

For more benefit on the etiquettes of Du’aa (supplication), please refer to Fataawa 88296 and 83421.

Allaah Knows best.

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