She cannot stand her parents-in-law living with her
Fatwa No: 156921

  • Fatwa Date:19-5-2011 - Jumaadaa Al-Aakhir 16, 1432
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Question

As Salam Alai Kum, I am married for a year now. Before i got married my husband and in laws had told that we can live b ourselves. But later thing took a turn and they ended up staying with us. Now its been a year. my husband and i hav fought numerous times regarding any issues relating to my mother in law or otherwise on the topic of living separate. Sometimes our fights turn very voilent too. HE even involves his parent which is embarassing for me. My in laws are good to me and also very kind but i feel i can live more happily and be a better and independent housewife if we saty separate. Several times my husband gave them hints but they arent ready to take it. My mother in law came on a visit to dubai and was supposed to go back but she got a job. So she came on visit visa two more times before making her visa permanent.She very well understood we (I) wanted to live separate but she still made her visa.My husband recently in a fight, openy told them that i want to live separate. His parents were very depressed. But i dont think they will still move. What does Islam teach on this issue? I have never come in between him or his parents otherwise and i love them truly too.. please advice

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Indeed, you did well by being keen on being kind to your parents-in-law; this is evidence that you are rational and just, so may Allaah reward you.

It is the right of the wife on her husband to live in a separate accommodation with him and she is not obliged to reside with any of his relatives as stated by the jurists  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  them. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 84608.

On the other hand, it is Islamically required that the son be kind and dutiful to his parents as we clarified in Fataawa 84942 and 87019. Therefore, the son should give each one his right; he should be kind and dutiful to his parents and provide his wife with a separate accommodation.

Hence, we advise you to discuss the matter with your husband to have a mutual understanding about it, and avoid problems and avoid being fanatic so that this would not lead to something more serious.

Also, it appears that your husband is convinced that he should offer you a separate accommodation but he does not want to make his parents angry. So, you should help him to solve this problem without any unpleasant consequences.

Finally, we advise you to be patient and tolerate as much as you can your parents-in-law living with you if this does not greatly harm you so that you would get the reward of the patient people, and you would avoid bad relationship between you and your parents-in-law or between him and his parents.

Allaah Knows best.

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