He raises his voice at his parents while advising them
Fatwa No: 159465

Question

Asalam Alikum wr wb Dear Shaikh, My problem is that i speak loudly with my parents i get angry but then i realise i made sin but i dont know how i will explain my mom i tell her to pray 5 times and she prays 3 or 2 or 1 time only i want her to be in paradise and in explaining her i get angery that pray etc, another problem is taht i tel her to give share of property to my paternal aunt who uesd to ask for more property which as per islamic law is not allowed.but i told my parents to give her at least what shraih says there is problem from both sides and my paternal aunt is on wrong side more than my parents.but i told my parents to give her extra as she is having daughters and give her more property than what islam says so that she will utilize that money.then my paternal aunt filed a case against my father for property in which she wants more than islamic law what shud i do i always fight with dad and then cry and remember what i did to my dad.my main aim is to finsih the issue so that everyone is happy and i want my parents to enter paradise INSHALLAH but i fight i dont know how i can convinence my parents as i am fallingin big sin by sometimes fighting with my parents but i know ALLAH knows why i am doing and what is in my heart,but still whatever conditions are i am sinner bcoz of fight with my parents which is grave sin plz help me what i wil do

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

There is no doubt that raising your voice at your parents and fighting with them is an act of undutifulness to them and you are obligated to immediately take the initiative to repent from it because being undutiful to the parents is a grave major sin; so please refer to Fatwa 87856. Also, for more benefit, refer to Fataawa 88120, 84521 and 82254.

On the other hand, you did well by being keen on advising your parents and wishing good for them, but advice should be given in a gentle and good manner so that it can yield its fruits. Allaah Says (what means): {Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction, and argue with them in a way that is best.}[Quran 16:125] Moreover, it is confirmed that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Indeed, Allaah is Kind and He likes kindness, and He confers upon kindness which He does not confer upon severity.” This is even more confirmed with the parents.

Moreover, being angry does not excuse a person (for being harsh to his parents), and there are some steps in the Sharee’ah for treating anger which we clarified in Fatwa 86681.

Besides, abandoning the prayer or being negligent about it makes a person in a very serious situation, so you should continue advising your mother about it, and we advise you to supplicate Allaah to guide her and to enable her to repent; you may seek the help of some scholars or knowledgeable people in this regard.

On the other hand, it is not permissible to prevent anyone from his share in the inheritance. So, if your maternal aunt has a share in the inheritance and she asks for it, then it is an obligation to give it to her and not deprive her from it without a sound reason, otherwise it is injustice to her. However, she has no right to ask for more than her share and it is not an obligation to give her this surplus unless (all) the other heirs approve of it.

As far as you are concerned, you should endeavor, as much as you can, to enjoin good and forbid evil and clarify the truth to whoever does not know it among your relatives and tell them the consequences of injustice without raising your voice at your parents and without making them angry. If they accept, then praise be to Allaah, otherwise you would have done what you are required to do.

Allaah Knows best.

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