Being Good to Parents
Fatwa No: 82254

Question

How can I be good to my parents?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.
Being kind and dutiful with one’s parents is an obligation in the Sharee’ah and this is something established by the Quran, the Sunnah and the consensus of the Muslim Scholars. Allah Says (What means): {Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good, and to relatives, orphans, the needy, the near neighbor, the neighbor farther away, the companion at your side, the traveler, and those whom your right hands possess. Indeed, Allah does not like those who are self-deluding and boastful.} [Quran 4: 36]

Moreover, the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “May his nose be rubbed in dust, may his nose be rubbed in dust, may his nose be rubbed in dust; i.e. May he be humiliated; (he said this thrice), who found his parents, one or both, approaching old age, but did not enter Paradise.” [Muslim]

This obedience can take many forms such as, dealing with them kindly, taking care of them, being polite when talking to them, and fulfilling their needs, etc. This practice becomes much compulsory when they become aged. Allah Says (what means): {And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.} [Quran 17: 23-24]
Therefore, the practice of grumbling, complaining and frowning is against the obedience of one’s parents. Know also that the obedience of parents continues after their death.
Abu Usayd narrated that they were sitting with the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) when a man of Beni Salamah tribe came and said:
“O Messenger of Allah, is there any way of honoring my parents that I can still do for them after their death?' He  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: 'Yes, to pray for them, to supplicate for their forgiveness, to fulfill their promises after their death, to maintain the ties of kinship which cannot be maintained except through them, and honor their friends.'" [Abu Daawood]

Muslim also narrated from Ibn ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “The highest merit is when a person is kind and generous towards his father's friend.”

Finally, the good treatment of one’s parents can be materialized in manners of talking to them, terms of dealing with them, keeping ties with them and with their relations, honoring them, and obeying them.

Allah Knows best.

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