He had sex with his wife in the presence of other couples
Fatwa No: 199935

  • Fatwa Date:11-3-2013 - Rabee' Al-Aakhir 29, 1434
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Question

Me and my wife who are married in islam (she is formally christian and converted) have both committed a major sin TOGETHER multiple times over and I (the male partner) have asked allah for forgiveness and have stopped and as a result I think my wife has agreed to stop. but i know she liked it and was looking forward to it again. The sinful act we both committed is a sexual one. We both engaged in sexual intercourse together while other married couples in the same room where doing the same thing. We we're all watching each other and touching. At no point did we have intercourse with other people. We did this act more then once at different occasions. My question is, Can we still remain married if we have repented and will allah ever forgive such an act of disgust? As the male partner in this marriage i have a strong influence on my wife and know that if i change my ways so will she. We are on the verge of divorce for unrelated reasons and i really want things to work out but all i keep thinking of is those sins we committed together. She has not shown regret for those acts but i none knows whats in the heart. Do i leave this marriage, repent and marry are born muslim? I'm confused because now that I'm asking for divorce and I'm turning to allah she is saying she will to. I do believe that she stopped practising as a result of me as i never encouraged her enough (she told me this) Im scared she is only doing so to keep me with her and our two kids. Im also scared to leave as i fear the babies will grow up without islamic faith if i am not around. Please, somebody guidance on this will be highly appreciated. Thank you

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

That act, besides being a sin, is very heinous and just like the acts of animals which one usually feels ashamed of. The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: "If you feel no shame, then you can do whatever you wish." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

It is incumbent upon you both to repent sincerely to Allaah The Almighty and not do that awful act again. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 86527, 85286, and 92083.

Whenever your wife calls you for doing that heinous act, rebuke her and explain to her that what you did before was wrong and forbidden.

However, such practices have no effect on the validity of the marriage; rather, the bond of marriage still remains. If you fear for your children from her in case you divorce her, then you can keep her and not divorce her. Also, you can marry another good Muslim woman. In this case, you should know that you have to be fair with them so long as they both are your wives.

If we presume that divorce takes place, then seek every possible means to prevent your wife from taking custody of the children. If she marries another man after you and then does the same awful act in the future, then there will be no blame on you, Allaah Willing.

To answer your statement "I do believe that she stopped practicing as a result of me as I never encouraged her enough", we can say that the chance is still available so long as she is still your wife to make up for your negligence towards her and to strive to protect her from Hellfire as Allaah The Almighty says (what means): {O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allaah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.}[Quran 66:6]

The prominent scholar Ash-Shinqeeti  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him said in Adhwaa' Al-Bayaan: "It is obligatory upon one to enjoin his family members such as his wife, children and the like to do what is good and forbid them from doing what is evil for Allaah The Almighty says (what means): {O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire.}"

Thus, you have to strive hard to advise your wife, enjoin her with what is good, forbid her from what is evil, and encourage her to adhere to the religion of Allaah The Almighty. May Allaah guide you to what you like and pleases you.

Allaah Knows best.

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