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His wife asked 'Are we divorced?' and he said 'Yes'

Question

My wife and I ran in to trouble because of my ex-wife. Because she was making a lot of trouble my new wife got depressed about it and started talking about a divorce - not because we don't love eachother but because the situation is too complicated. We met to discuss the matter of divorce. On the same occasion we kissed and we were not fighting. When we departed she asked me: "so, are we divorced or what?" I replied: "yes" - but in my heart I knew in the same moment that I didn't want to divorce her. Does answering "yes" to the question "will you divorce me?" constitute a valid divorce?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

You have mentioned in your question two expressions: The first one is “Are we divorced?”, and the second one is “Will you divorce me?”. The ruling differs according to the difference of the two terms. Your answer “Yes” if it was an answer to her question “Are we divorced”, makes divorce effective even if you did not intend it. The scholars stated that if a husband said to his wife: “You are divorced”, it is an explicit word of divorce. They also said that if a husband was asked: “Have you divorced your wife?” and he answered: “Yes”, then his divorce takes place.

However, the scholars differed concerning a person who lied and said that he divorced his wife; some of them are of the view that divorce takes place both actually from the religious point of view (i.e. in the eyes of Allaah) and legally (as something satisfied by a court) from the juristic point of view, whereas others are of the view that divorce takes place legally from the juristic point of view, but not actually from a religious point of view; so she remains in reality his wife, and this is the opinion we adopt here in Islamweb.

On the other hand, if you had told her “Yes” in answer to her question: “Will you divorce me?”, then divorce does not take place because it is a promise of divorce, and divorce does not take place unless you had intended it. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 128655.

Finally, it should be noted that both spouses should be keen on preserving the marital bonds and avoid anything that could weaken them with words of divorce and the like. Also, they should be keen on solving their problems in the light of mutual understanding and respect.

Allaah Knows best.

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