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Son's obligation to provide for his mother

Question

Assalamu alaykum, Dear Sheikh, My mother is living with my sister as it is the tradition in our community. My mother is not willing to give the inheritance share that belongs to me and is planning to give to my sister. I had been providing monthly expenses to my mother. Is it obligatory in Islam for me to give monthly expenses to my mother since she did not give my right and is living with my sister who is well off?. When my wife met with an accident, my mother did not lend any help to us although I have two kids and we were suffering. There were conflict between my wife and mother prior to the accident. Considering all this, please advise if it is obligatory to continue to provide monthly expenses for my mother.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

If your mother is in need, then you are obligated to provide for her. Providing for her is not obligatory on you only; rather, it is obligatory on every rich one of her children according to his/her ability as we have pointed out in Fatwa 90246.

If the mother is not in need, then providing for her is not obligatory, but treating her kindly is Islamically required in all cases. However if you provide for her, even if she is not in need for that, you will gain her pleasure and avoid her evil. Moreover, this actually entails great goodness in this world and the Hereafter. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “The pleasure of the Lord is in the pleasure of the parent and the anger of the Lord is in the anger of the parent.” [At-Tirmithi]

For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 92093.

As for what you have stated that she wants to prevent you from pursuing your inheritance, then if you mean that she has bequeathed to deny you the right to inherit, then it is an invalid will that should not be carried out. But if she wants to distribute her estate in her lifetime as a gift for her children, and she is completely sane and not terminally ill, then it is permissible for her to do so on condition that justice should be observed among them, i.e. it is not permissible to prefer some of them over others for no legitimate excuse. For more benefit, kindly refer to Fataawa 124046, 159237 and 94685.

As for the conflict between your mother and your wife, then this form of conflict occurs frequently. Actually, if the two spouses adopt a wise approach, they will be able to get over that problem and find a suitable solution for it. It is incumbent upon the husband not to favor his mother over his wife or vice versa. Rather, he should give each her due. Kindly refer to Fatwa 88695 about the way of fixing the bad relationship between one’s mother and his wife.

Allaah Knows best.

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