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Fatwa CenterHis wife is blindly jealous of his former wife
Question
assalam alayqem I have a child from previous marriage and I got the custody of my son and sent him back home to live with my family . after that I married another sister and have 2 others kids with her and since we got marry my wife accused me of having a feeling for almost every woman I see on my way with no proof and with no reason except that I mistakenly left email with pictures from my ex wife and had her on my Skype .I affirmed to my wife that I have no relationship to any other woman and all peoples who know me told my wife that im a good husband and I will never cheat on her and that my ex wife its just a past. my wife couldn't forget that I was married before her and she told me that my ex was my first love and I will never forget her and then her jealousy turn against my 8 years old boy and she told me that he's probably not my son and I should take a dna test with him and that he is a very bad boy and he is a son of b.... and she won't take care of him if he come to live with us. now my sister is trying to get marry and come live here in America and my son is crying every day asking me to take him back to America and I cannot live my son alone with my elderly parents. I don't like to leave my 2 new babies but if their mother insist on being bad to my first son I will have to move out me and him alone and just divorce her and my kids will know eventually when they grow up that was not my choice.my son have nobody except me and my family and his mom she barely call him once every six months and now im so hurt from what my wife said about my innocent child. I was thinking to rent a big house with a basement and have my son live with me and my family can stay in that basement when they come to visit us.and by the way my family and my in law are very good to each other and me and my wife have no other problem. please tell me whats my wife duties toward my son and what I should do and inshaa allah I will forward your response to my wife and jazaka allah kairun
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His Slave and Messenger.
First of all, we say that some jealousy is commendable and some jealousy is blameworthy. Jealousy that leads a wife to harbor suspicions about her husband without a sound reason is blameworthy jealousy. To learn how to treat women's jealousy please refer to Fatwa 90757.
Also, for benefit on how a wife should treat her jealousy toward her husband’s ex-wife, please refer to Fatwa 160431.
With regard to your wife's suspicions about your son not being your real son, they are evil and you must advise her about it. It is a grave major sin to make accusations regarding someone's lineage and honor. Abu Hurayrah 
narrated that the Prophet said: "Two things are signs of disbelief on the part of those who indulge in them: slandering people's lineage and wailing over the dead.'' [Ahmad and Muslim] Imam An-Nawawi 
said in his commentary on this Hadeeth: “This Hadeeth affirms an emphatic prohibition of slandering someone's lineage.”
Besides, it is not permissible to take DNA tests to confirm a lineage that is already legitimately confirmed.
On the other hand, your wife has the right to refuse that your child stays with her in her home unless he is small and he does not have a caretaker other than you. However, she has no right to abuse your son and describe him as the son of a b....; this is slander and she must repent from it. For benefit on the conditions of repentance, please refer to Fatwa 86527.
As regards the duties of each of the husband and wife toward the children of the other from another marriage, then we have already explained this in Fatwa 97216.
In conclusion, we advise you to be wise and not resort to divorce as long as possible, and if you can rent a big house so that your son will be close to you and you can look after him, then that would be good. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 92474.
Allaah Knows best.
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