I married a lady that had divorced and had a boy, during our courtship, she told me she had a boy from previuos marriage, I told her that was not a problem and she assumed I meant taking responsibility of the boy, due to distance, we lived separately initially and she lived with her son, when she moved to my town, she left the boy with her older sister, suddenly they moved the boy to my home where we lived, and since then the boys prescence has been an issue, it generates so much emotions and frictions, weve not experienced before, and I for one, feel competed with and I always leave the house to return at night. She claimed I promised to take care of them both, and I made no suc2h promise, my wifes mother lives in the same town with us and she wont take the boy, claiming she is too old to care for the boy, the boy is 5yrs, his granny is 65yrs, the father is als1o in the same town with us. His presence in my home creates undue pressure. And when he stays with the grandma for a while my wife will go there twice a day, to tend to him. Morning and night, all these are worisome.and putting tremendous pressure on my family, I also have a son from a previous marriage, he lives with his mother, I visit once in 2 months due to the distance, 12hrs drive, and he spends holiday with me. Will I be u fair and would I have transgressed if I ask for my step son to be with his own family? Or my wifes family? Pls advice?
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
In matters of dispute, Fatwa is not sufficient. The matter should be referred to a legitimate Islamic court so that the judge would ask for proof from the two parties involved in the dispute. In addition, the ruling issued by the judge would be binding and would settle scholarly difference of opinion in matters of Ijtihaad (juristic opinion on matters which are not specified in the Quran and the Sunnah). For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 89707.
Since your case involves claims, we cannot decisively rule whether you were rightful or wrongful in preventing your wife from taking in her child. However, in general, the jurists stated that it is impermissible for a husband to prevent his wife from letting her child from another marriage live with her in the marital home if he knew about the presence of the child at the time of consummation of marriage or if he did not know about the child but the child did not have anyone to take custody of him/her. But if the husband did not know about the child and the child had someone to take custody of him/her, then the wife has no right to make the child live with her except with her husband's consent. Please refer to Fatwa 131056.
We advise you to try to reach an understanding with your wife so that the problem would be eliminated at its roots. You may refer the issue to a legitimate Islamic court to investigate it and issue an appropriate judgment.
Allaah Knows best.
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