Her husband persistently commits adultery and drinks alcohol
Fatwa No: 304120

  • Fatwa Date:24-8-2015 - Thul-Qi'dah 10, 1436
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Question

I am a muslimuh american living in an arabic country with my Arabic husband. I love him very much but he has been unfaithful for many years and i have forgiven him many times. We have 4 kids. He divorced me twice before for no reason only to find out he was cheating and confused. I forgave him each time. I feel i am patient but im at a lost and maybe im better off alone. 9 months ago i learned again he was cheating. I had an STD from his sex with other women. he was forced to admit it. I have medical proof! I also saw text on phone. I asked him to stop or leave the home, he left the home. He says he loves me and im the angry one. I feel i have a right to be angry. He provides for me. My kids and I ask for nothing. `he has very good position. he feels this makes him a good husband. I am lonely in my marriage. I have good life financially but my husband isnt here in the home. he visits kids often. Because of the sex and relationships with others i have always given him option to stop and come home if he got a medical exam for STD and let us talk to someone to help us. he says i will not make conditions for him to come home and stays away. Rahmadan has started and again i made this offer and he refused it. His family has tried to help but he will not listen to them. He tells me he loves me and I am too angry for him to come home. As if he blames me for being mad he got me sick from his sex with women! I remind him and his family remind him he is in sin. he left when our youngest was 5 months old and now he is a year and half! it is like he doesnt want a marriage now but insist i wait because maybe later he will want me. He provides very well. But i am missing having the emotional championship of marriage. his cheating has happened our whole marriage. I have waited for him to change. and now he gave me STD. He also have started drinking ALOT! I dont know if i can continue in a marriage where he emotionally abandoned me. What should I do.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His Slave and Messenger.

Since your husband confessed to having illicit sexual relationships with other women and he did not repent from that sin and he transmitted an STD to you, then you did well by asking him to choose either to stop cheating on you and repent, while making sure that he is free of STDs, or to divorce you.

We advise you to remind him about Allaah and stir in his heart fear of Allaah and His punishment in the worldly life and the Hereafter. If he listens to you, repents and gives up his sin, you may go back to him after he receives treatment for the diseases; otherwise, you should not be keen on staying married to him. There is no good in keeping the company of a person who persistently commits the sins of drinking alcohol and fornicating. Hopefully, Allaah will compensate you for your loss and bless you with a better husband.

If he refuses to divorce you, you can refer your case to a legitimate Islamic court to divorce you and relieve you of the harm caused to you by him and remaining married to him.

For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 120659 and 92520.

Allaah Knows best.

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