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Her non-Muslim in-laws jeopardize her son's religiosity

Question

Assalaamu alaykum. I married a new Muslim and, praise be to Allaah, have a four-year-old boy. My husband is from a big Hindu family. Due to his job, we live in another state. Our problem started from day one, they asked me to keep 'bindi' and 'sindhoor', asked us to touch their feet, and fight with me for wearing hijab, and his two big brothers always scold me for following Islam and not accepting their religion, as many do in India. We go there for five to ten days, whenever we go there, all join together and start fighting with us. My husband did not say anything because he is younger, and due to respect, he always keep silent. They always ask me to stay with them and mingle with them. After our boy's birth, they really fought with us badly about his Islamic name and circumcision and for not removing hair for their god. They told me that he (boy) is their blood and thus belongs to them so they can do whatever they want to do. They force my kid to wear gold and call him by a Hindu name. They even take him to the room where they keep all those idols and teach him how to pray; we told them not to do that. My husband did not fight with them as they all are elders and he has so much respect for them. We did not go there due to these reasons, but now I am really very scared to go there. My son is four years old now, and we are teaching him about Islam (maa shaa Allaah). However, I am afraid that they may influence him. Another problem is that my husband will get transferred soon. I do not want to go there. Please tell me what I should do. How should I behave with them if they ask and force me to live with them? I fear Allaah so I do not misbehave with them till now. I fear for my boy's future. Do I have the right to fight with them? Everyone says that I should respect my in-laws and serve them and take care of them. What should I do? Please clear my doubts. Thank you. Wassalaam.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

If the situation is as you described, then your husband is neglectful and is failing to fulfill his duty towards his wife and child. It is an obligation on him to protect the safety of the religion of his wife and child and guard them against fitnah (temptation, tribulation). It is impermissible for him to please his non-Muslim family at the expense of his religion and the interests of his wife and son.

Allaah, The Exalted, commands the Muslim to show kindness and respect to his non-Muslim parents; however, He forbids the Muslim from obeying them in what constitutes disobedience to Allaah. You should clarify this to your husband and remind him of the divine commands in this regard and of the fact that he is obliged to protect himself and his family from Hellfire and that he shall be held accountable for them before Allaah.

If you visit his family, it is impermissible for you to obey them in whatever constitutes disobedience to Allaah. Do not give them the chance to corrupt your child by teaching him their false practices, even if the only way to do this is by not visiting them. However, if you can visit them and still protect your religion and your son's religion, then there is no objection to that.

Finally, you should try to invite them to Islam and clarify the falsehood of their current beliefs to them. This does not constitute a lack of respect to them, nor does it involve neglecting their rights over their son. You should use wisdom in calling them to Islam and in denying their falsehood; and hopefully Allaah will guide them to Islam through you.

Allaah knows best.

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