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Says to his wife that he is her worst enemy

Question

Dear Brother/Sister, assalaamu alaykum. Can you let me know whether the following is allowed or not: A husband telling his wife that he is her worst enemy; whenever they fight, he reminds his wife about enmity. Is there a link between doing this and divorce? Thank you.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

The Sharia enjoined that we speak good words to people; Allah says (what means): {...and speak to people good [words]...} [Quran 2:83]

The wife comes in priority in this regard; the husband should speak good words to her, as he is commanded to have good marital relations with her; Allah says (what means): {And live with them in kindness.} [Quran 4:19]

Therefore, a husband should not say to his wife that he is her worst enemy and the like, as this is a means by which the devil would try to spoil their marriage; Allah says (what means): {And tell My servants to say that which is best. Indeed, Satan induces [dissension] among them. Indeed Satan is ever, to mankind, a clear enemy.} [Quran 17:53]

Jaabir, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said, “Iblees (Satan) places his throne upon water; he then sends detachments [for creating dissension]; the nearer to him in rank are those who are most notorious in creating dissension. One of them comes and says, 'I did such-and-such,' and Satan says, 'You have done nothing.' Then one amongst them comes and says, 'I did not spare so-and-so until I separated between him and his wife.' Satan brings him nearer to him and says, 'Yes! You (have done well).'” [Muslim]

If the husband says to his wife that he is her worst enemy, then this is neither a clear statement of divorce nor one of its metaphors, and this has no relation to divorce at all.

Allah knows best.

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