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Fatwa CenterLoving one's parents is innate nature even if they are disbelievers
Question
Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuhu, Shaykh. Did Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, love his parents? And what about Prophet Ibraaheem, may Allaah exalt his mention, did he love his father? If yes, was that love present both before and after their death? And what type of love was that? As to my knowledge, they were disbelievers, and Prophet Ibraaheem's father was a disbeliever and an enemy of Allaah's religion. And how would Prophet Ibraaheem deal with him? May Allaah reward you, Shaykh.
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, we say that the child is born with an innate love for his parents that Allah placed in his heart. The Muslim is not held accountable for this love if his parent is a disbeliever. However, such innate love must be coupled with the hatred of the parents' religion and with disassociating oneself from their disbelief. It is not strange that the innate love for one's parents is coupled with the enjoined hatred towards their disbelief; the Muslim may hate the injustice done by his fellow Muslim brother and at the same time love him for his religion. He may love jihaad because it is encouraged by the Shariah and at the same time hate it for the hardship that it involves; Allah, The Exalted, says (what means): {Fighting has been enjoined upon you while it is hateful to you. But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah knows, while you know not.} [Quran 2:216]
Allah, The Exalted, also says about the Prophet's love for his uncle (what means): {Indeed (O Muhammad) you do not guide whom you like, but Allah guides whom He wills. And He is most knowing of the (rightly) guided.} [Quran 28:56] The verse may mean, 'the one whom you like because he is your relative,' according to one interpretation. Another interpretations says, 'the one whom you like to guide.' The first interpretation was chosen by Al-Baghawi, An-Nawawi, and Al-Aloosi 
. This also applies to the Muslim man who is married to a Christian or Jewish wife; he loves her given the marriage bond, but at the same time he hates her disbelief. Another example is hatred towards medicine given its bitterness and loving it for its benefit and healing effect.
Thus, it is not strange that the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, innately loved his parents. He once sought the permission of Allah to ask Him to forgive his mother, but Allah did not give him permission. He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was saddened and cried. Ibn Buraydah narrated on the authority of his father:
“We were traveling with the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and we were about one thousand riders. He, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, prayed two Rak‘ahs and then came to us with his eyes filled with tears. ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab got up to him and said, ‘Let my father and mother be sacrificed for you! What is wrong, O Messenger of Allah?’ He said, ‘I sought my Lord's permission to ask forgiveness for my mother, but He did not permit me; so my eyes teared up out of mercy for her...’” [Ahmad]
It is stated in the Quran that Prophet Ibraaheem (Abraham), may Allah exalt his mention, sought forgiveness for his father because he had promised him to do so. Zad Al-Maseer reads:
“Allah, The Exalted, says (what means): {And the request of forgiveness of Ibraaheem for his father was only because of a promise he had made to him. But when it became apparent to Ibraaheem that his father was an enemy to Allah, he disassociated himself from him. Indeed was Ibraaheem compassionate and patient.} [Quran 9:114] There are two interpretations in this regard; the first is that Ibraaheem promised his father to ask Allah to grant him forgiveness; Allah, The Exalted, says (what means): {(Ibraaheem) said: Peace will be upon you. I will ask forgiveness for you of my Lord. Indeed, He is ever gracious to me.} [Quran 19:47] He did not know that it is prohibited to seek forgiveness for a polytheist until Allah informed him of it. The second is that Ibraaheem's father promised him to believe if he sought forgiveness for him. When Ibraaheem realized that his father was an enemy of Allah, as he died while adhering to disbelief, he refrained from supplicating Allah in his favor.”
As for your question about the way in which Ibraaheem treated his father, the Quran highlighted that he invited his father to believe in Allah, worship Him only with no partners, and give up polytheism. He resorted to gracious dialogue with him, advising and edifying him kindly and compassionately, using the nicest words, as related in the verses in Soorah Maryam (chapter 19) and Soorah Al-An‘am (chapter 6). This is the way to deal with one's non-Muslim parent.
Allah knows best.
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