Wife wants to leave non-Muslim country but husband refuses
Fatwa No: 346108

Question

Assalaamu alaykum. My husband and I live in a non-Muslim country. I feel that my faith and level of worship have deteriorated, and I feel threatened by Islam-haters. A radical right-wing party rules here now. I am depressed. I miss Islam. I want to move to my husband's homeland, because I feel safe there. However, my husband does not see any problems, downplays my fears, and says that we should stay to do da‘wah (proselytization). I feel neglected, and I feel that he does not protect my faith from threats and temptations yet cares to do da‘wah to others. Do I have the right to demand from him to move? Otherwise, he is a wonderful man, but I think that he is making a big mistake by not moving. I must admit that before we got married, he did say that we would stay in the country in which we are residing, but I am on the verge of commiting suicide if I stay here. Is it possible that you do not publish this question?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, we would like to thank you for your keenness on preserving your religiosity and your caution of falling into temptation and whatever leads to it. We implore Allah to reward you generously and increase you in righteousness.

We ask you to take it easy upon yourself and repel such extreme anxiety that would drive you to consider suicide! Indeed, suicide is a grave evil and hideous sin that entails losing one's worldly life and his afterlife. Abu Hurayrah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, “Whoever purposely throws himself from a mountain and kills himself will be in the Hellfire falling down into it eternally; whoever drinks poison and kills himself with it will be carrying that poison in his hand and drinking it in Hellfire eternally; and whoever stabs himself with an iron rod will be carrying his iron rod in his hand and stabbing his abdomen with it in Hellfire eternally.” [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

For more benefit, please refer to fatwa 84296.

If you have reached the state of fearing temptation, then you are entitled to ask your husband to make hijrah (migration) from this country. Rather, it is permissible for you to migrate even if he does not approve it. Muslim scholars stated that whoever fears falling into fitnah (temptation, tribulation) is obliged to make hijrah, as we have previously underlined in fatwa 86405.

Obedience to the husband should only be in what pleases Allah. ‘Ali  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him reported that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, “There should be no obedience to people in what constitutes disobedience to their Creator.” The fact that your husband had informed you before marriage that you would be staying in this country does not mean that you are obliged to stay there.

However, we advise you to discuss the matter with your husband first in light of what we mentioned. It is commendable of your husband to be keen on making da'wah; however, he should also strive in guarding you from whatever leads to fitnah. Neither duty should make him neglect the other. In fact, his family is worthier of his good efforts and attention. Allah, The Exalted, says (what means): {And warn (O Muhammad) your closest kindred.} [Quran 26:214]

Allah knows best.

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