Search In Fatwa

His parents always nag about him getting better paying job

Question

Assalaamu alaykum. I am a B.Tech engineer; I currently work in the Middle East and earn a fair salary. I live with my child and wife here. I manage to give some amount to my parents; my father still works in a company. Whenever I speak to my parents, they are sad that my salary is not that much compared to so-and-so. I always make the point that whatever a person earns, his provision is already written from Allaah. I do not have any envy or jealousy towards others' salary. My parents agree with this but nevertheless complain about my salary. It is not that I am not looking for other opportunities; I am, but no offers have been coming my way. I am fed up with trying to politely explain this to my parents. When I try to explain this to my parents, they become sad and angry and do not talk to me for several days. I do not want to be rude or harsh with them while trying to make them understand this. Whenever I speak to my parents, this is the only topic they talk about, which gives so much negative vibes. What should I do to overcome this? May Allaah reward you.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

There is no doubt that parents are most often compassionate towards their child and keen to do what is in his best interest; therefore, it is not strange that your parents have this attitude. You did well by your keenness on talking to them politely and avoiding triggering their anger. We ask Allah, The Exalted, to reward you generously for that and help you win their pleasure; verily, earning their pleasure yields success in this worldly life and the Hereafter. At-Tirmithi  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him allocated a chapter in his book Sunan At-Tirmithi entitled, "Ahaadeeth about the merits of earning the satisfaction of the parents" In that chapter, he cited the hadeeth narrated on the authority of ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr, may Allah be pleased with him, who related that the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, "The pleasure of the Lord lies in the pleasure of the parent, and the anger of the Lord lies in the anger of the parent."

You should know that you bear no sin if they got angry with you for no reason on your part. In order to avoid their anger, perhaps it is better to call them at suitable intervals and try to appease them with kind words to avoid angering them by telling them that you are diligently looking for another job. Also, ask them to supplicate Allah for you, explaining to them that the supplications of the parents in favor of their child are accepted. Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, reported that the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, "Three supplications will undoubtedly be answered: the supplication of one who has been wronged, the supplication of the traveler, and the supplication of a parent for his child." [Ibn Maajah]

You should also supplicate Allah as much as you can and ask Him to bless you with a better job than the one you have now; verily, Allah is the One Who provides provisions and means of subsistence. Allah, The Exalted, says (what means): {Indeed, your Lord extends provision for whom He wills and restricts (it). Indeed, He is ever, concerning His servants, Acquainted and Seeing.} [Quran 17:30]

Allah knows best.

Related Fatwa