Neglecting His Wife to Spend Time With Friends
Fatwa No: 379993

  • Fatwa Date:29-7-2018 - Thul-Qi'dah 17, 1439
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Question

Salam aleikum Sheikh.I have been married for almost 10 years and have 3 small kids and för many years of ramadan about 6 läst years im Always eating iftar by myself bcz my husband dosent want to eat with me. He eats iftar outside Home and im very sad by this since ramadan is a special Month. No sister i know is having it like this . Everybody eats with their husband . I have talk to my husband many times about this but he say that his Friends do it too and he dont want to stop . Advice please

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Our advice to you is to look at the bright side of your married life and not to magnify minor and temporary mistakes that one can overlook. You should not make these mistakes an obstacle preventing you from leading a happy married life.

This issue can be treated through calm discussions during times when he is relaxed and ready to do so. You can say something like: “Just like your friends rejoice to be with you and you enjoy being with them, I also enjoy being with you. If you cannot have breakfast with me all the time and share meals with me, then at least specify certain days and times for your friends and set some to me.

As for his excuse that all his friends deal the same way with their wives, then this does not mean that he must imitate them, because their situations may be different; the needs of the wife differs from one wife to the other. One should be more keen on pleasing his wife than pleasing his friends; pleasing both is doable and not impossible.

Discuss these issues with him wisely and softly, and do not allow this issue to be a reason for you two to get angry at one another or to cause repulsion amongst you.

Finally, the supplication of a fasting person is answered at the time when he breaks his fast, so ask Allah to increase love between the two of you and to make your life a joyful one; you will see amazing results for you supplications.

Allah knows best.

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