Her Husband Refuses to Have More Children
Fatwa No: 385597

Question

Salam aleikum Sheikh Me and my exhusband divorced about 10 Days ago . We were married for 10 years and have 3 kids aged 8,7 And 5 . I got a divorce throu khula and one of the biggest reason i asked khule for is i want to have more kids but he dident want . Now he talks about he loves me and misses me and asked me to marry him again i Said yes if he agrees to give me more kids . But he refuses he Said im a perfect mom that its not anything i do wrong or can change . He Said the problem is in him. That he just dont want to have more kids. I told him its one of my big right acording to islam but he just ignores it and changes subject. I spend a lot of time and my love on our kids and mostly with islam . And they have lots of islamic knowledge . Im really hurt by his behavour and i also feel im almost 39 years . I feel bcz of him, he takes away my chances to ever have kids again . I explained all this but he dont care at all and i dont want marry him bcz of it. I really love our kids and they keep asking almost daily for get more siblings. Even they begged him. Can u please give advice in private. Jazak allahu khairan

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, we ask Allah to protect your children and to help you raise them appropriately. May Allah nurture them in the best way so that they will be a comfort to your eyes in this worldly life and in the Hereafter; this can only be achieved if they are righteous. Allah Says describing His slaves (what means): {And (they are) those who say, “Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us a leader [i.e. example] for the righteous.”} [Quran 25:74]

Ibn Katheer  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him said in his Tafseer:

"Al-Hasan Al-Basri was asked about this verse and he said: 'It is that Allah makes the Muslim see obedience to Allah by his wife, brother, and intimate friend. I swear by Allah, there is nothing that brings more comfort to the eye of a Muslim than to see a child, a grandchild, a brother, or an intimate friend obedient to Allah Almighty.'" [End of quote]

Having children is a common right between both spouses; none of them has the right prevent it without an Islamic legitimate reason. Ibn Qudaamah  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him said:

"Since she (the wife) has the right to have children, and practicing coitus interruptus with her harms her, so it (coitus interruptus) is not permissible except with her permission." [End of quote]

Therefore, your husband has no right to prevent you from having children.

By preventing you, he also prevents himself from much goodness, as we are urged in the Sharee'ah to have many children.

Ma'qil ibn Yasaar  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "Marry the compassionate and prolific women, as I will outnumber (by your abundant number) other nations by you [on the Day of Judgment]." [Abu Daawood]

As-Suyooti  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him said: "It could well be that an intercourse (between the husband and his wife) leads to a righteous son like Ash-Shaafi’i and Ahmad. This would be better than one thousand years of worship." [End of quote]

Our advice to you is to seek the help of Allah in trying to convince your ex-husband about having children. Firstly, seek the help of Allah by humbling yourself to Him and earnestly supplicate Him, then seek the help of influential people among his relatives or others to whom he might listen.

If he is convinced, praise be to Allah, otherwise we do not see that it is appropriate for you to refuse to return to him. If this benefit from marriage (i.e. of having more children) is missed, then other benefits should not be missed, such as reuniting the family and bringing up the children by two parents who are reunited and caring. This, indeed, would have a good effect on their lives, just as separation has negative effects on them; so you should be mindful of this.

For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 195927, 278053, 87397, 101099, and 84472.

Allah knows best.

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