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Her Husband Divorced Her and Wants to Relocate and Take the Children

Question

As salamu alaykom respected alim.I have a serious issue that needs immidiate attention. My husband and i have been married for nearly 10 years. We have 3 children together aged 3, 6 and 7. Recently my husband had his visa removed. He has been detained for 3 months. He has divorced me and will return to his country. He wants to take the kids with him. What do i do in this situation. Our narriage has become quite miserable due to many deep issues that we can not work past. There does not seem to be any solution for us. If my husband takes the boys to hus country, they can not speak the language and there will be no stability for them at the moment. But i may be able to travel at least 3 times a year to see them. If they stay with me then they will have stability provision and thier normal routine will not be disrupted and i could take them to see thier baba atleast once a year. What is our solution to our problem. My husband is a very good father we are both religiously committed and love our children greatly.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, we recommend that you try to return to your husband and reunify the family if possible, even if it entails travelling to the country of your husband. This is the best option for both of you and for the children. The separation of parents has a bad impact on the children in general.

If it is not possible for you to return to him, and your husband will travel to his country, then children's custody is for the father. The majority of the jurists are of the view that if one of the parents moves to settle in another location [or country], then custody is for the father.

Ibn Taymiyyah  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him said: “... If the father is residing in a country other than that of the mother's, then the custody of the children is for him and not to the mother, even though the mother has the right to the children's custody if the father and the mother are living in the same country. This is also the view chosen by the Imams of the Four Schools of jurisprudence.” [End of quote]

It should be noted that it is not difficult for the children to learn the language of the country where they will live with their father, especially that they are still young.

Finally, our advice to you as a righteous couple –and we think that both of you are upon much goodness –is to take into account the interest of the children and endeavor not to make them victims of any dispute between both of you. Reconciliation is better.

For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 258490, 263320, and 213352.

Allah knows best.

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