Husband Is Harsh Because She Wears Niqaab
Fatwa No: 392050

  • Fatwa Date:14-2-2019 - Jumaadaa Al-Aakhir 9, 1440
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Question

Salam aleikum Sheikh. I have a question .. me and my husband married 10 years and have 3 kids and last about 7 years i wear niqab . My husband never takes me out nor spends time with me . We lived apart for 2 years and he came twice a year to visit me and kids and then he never spend time with me nor took me out Walking etc like normal Couples do. He say bcz i chose to wear a niqab i must leave dunya . So it mean i must live like one who is alone and dead bcz i chose to have a niqab . I feel like im just a cleaner and baby sitter in this Home not a wife bcz i dont get treated as a wife . Even when his sister and husband came to visit us with their kids They all went out Walking and shopping having fun Times and i was left Home alone cleaning after all . Very few Times i go to meet sisters at coffea shop ( islamic one even thou we live in uk ) and no men see me eating or drinking. Then my husband say why i have niqab if i go out living like koffar . I feel very alone and Only used for sex , cleaning, cooking and taking care of kids .. that i have niqab dosent stop me from living like normal People. I feel its not Fair i get treated unjustly just bcz i chose to have niqab. My husband dosent like me to have niqab and i feel he is trying force me by chosing between niqab and to live like normal married People live . I feel niqab is fardh and Will never take it of but he does everything to make it difficult for me . And also which kind of islam is it that husband go out in night with friends? Jazak allahu khairan for yr reply please answer personally .

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, we ask Allah to relieve your difficulty, ease your agony, and rectify your husband so that you would live with him in happiness and joy.

If what you mentioned about your husband is true, then his actions contradict the Command of Allah, as He Says (what means): {And live with them in kindness.} [Quran 4:19] This means living with the wife in good company, refraining from harming her, being benevolent to her, and treating her good.

‘Aa’ishah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  her narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “The best amongst you, are those who are best to their wives, and I am the best to my wives.” [At-Tirmithi]

The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) was truly the best with his wives, as he used to keep good company with them and was affectionate with them, and his biography and Sunnah prove that.

It is very strange for the Niqaab to be the reason for his harshness with you. Covering the face is legislated and the least that can be said about it is that it is desirable. Some scholars are of the view that covering the face is an obligation, and this is the view that we consider to be the preponderant one in our site [Islamweb]. The fact that you want to cover your face and preserve your chastity is not a sin to be punished for. On the contrary, he should have honored you even more and not humiliated you because of it. May Allah guide him.

We advise you to be more patient with him and supplicate Allah as much as possible to guide him, as Allah is over everything Omnipotent, and the one who puts his hope in Him will never be disappointed. Allah Says (what means): {And your Lord says, "Call upon Me; I will respond to you." Indeed, those who disdain My worship will enter Hell [rendered] contemptible.} [Quran 40:60]

Try to advise him in a gentle and soft manner in the light of what we have mentioned above. If necessary, you may seek the help of some righteous people among his relatives or others, hoping that Allah will guide him and enable him to regain his senses.

As for your saying: “What kind of Islam is it that a husband goes out at night with friends?”; then if what you meant is that you denounce that Islam would approve that a husband is good to his friends while he neglects his wife, then you are right, because the right of the wife comes in priority over the right of friends. Sharee'ah commands that a person should give each one his rights; one starts with the closest to the closer, and starts with what is obligatory and then what is desirable, and so forth.

For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 196833, 326989, 83723, 81554, 369070, ’s wives">115107, and 83033.

Allah knows best.

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